Monthly Archives for August 2010

Lion Attack

I’ve been on safari in Africa twice and I have a very healthy respect for the animals.  In the Serengeti we could hear lions at night and our camp site was attacked by baboons. On the rim of Ngorongoro Crater our camp was invaded by bush pigs which even the guards wouldn’t mess with.  In South Luangwa we had hyenas in our camp that stalked me when I was coming back from the bathroom.  We had to watch out for hippos while canoeing on the Zambezi River because hippos kill more people each year than any other African animal.  Heading out for a game drive, an elephant charged out of the bushes and stood in front of us when we were in an open jeep.  After he finally took off, the guide said, “Mock charge.”  I was in the front seat next to him and I said, “How did you know it was a mock charge and not a real charge?”  He said, “You’re still in the jeep.”  Oy.

Someone just sent me this video.  I have no idea where it came from or who is going to sue me for posting it without proper credits, but I have to post it because I can’t remember the last time I saw two guys doing something this stupid.  Don’t worry…it’s G-rated (meaning – nobody got dead).  If you’re reading this and there’s no video, it means that it got deleted from Youtube so watch it while you can!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Adu7GFtrTYg&hl=en&fs=1]

Torture Chamber

I found out last week that I won an Award of Merit from our industry organization – yes – The Door & Hardware Institute – for a building code presentation I did a while back.  I thought it was pretty cool until I realized that I would have to supply a photo of myself for the convention program, signage, and wherever else they want to plaster my face.

My two most recent head shots were 1) a selfie after a couple of Blood Orange Cosmos, or 2) taken by Ben in our front yard when I only blow-dried the front of my hair since the rest wouldn’t show anyway.  That created a problem because I hate having my picture taken, especially when a whole bunch of people will see it.

Since I really like the woman who asked for the photo, I made an appointment at Portrait Simple and bravely faced the lens.  I’m shocked to say that a few of the pictures came out ok.  As I was comparing them on the computer to decide which one to send in, Ben zoomed in on my eyes and then sincerely asked, “Isn’t there cream for that?”  Nice.

Gas Leak

While we were away this weekend, an SUV ran into the convenience store that’s right across route 30 from the entrance to our street.  We saw them boarding up the hole and dealing with the gas leak when we came home, but most of the excitement was over.

Our friends who live around the corner saw the fire engines and other emergency vehicles but the street was blocked off so they couldn’t tell exactly what was going on.  Aliya’s friend Hannah worried that Norah might have found an errant lighter and started a fire.  Norah’s reputation is firmly established throughout the neighborhood.

“Don’t MAKE me get off this HAMMOCK!!!”

It’s only 15 days, 8 hours, 47 minutes until the bus arrives for the first day of school, and not a moment too soon.  I have now taken to arming myself.  Aliya took this picture at camp this weekend.  No, I didn’t take a shower that day.  Yes, I’m so lazy that when I got chilly I just put my fleece on backward instead of sitting up and putting it on the right way.  And the old mop handle?  That’s to keep the kids away from the hammock.  Seriously, before I armed myself they were trying to sit on the hammock, swing me, and just generally drive me nuts.  The book was Secrets She Left Behind, by Diane Chamberlain, and I’m done with it so if anyone wants it, it’s yours.

I have some other books up for grabs too:

Look Again, by Lisa Scottoline
House Rules , by Jodi Picoult
Not My Daughter , by Barbara Delinsky
Somebody Else’s Daughter , by Elizabeth Brundage
The Last Bridge , by Teri Coyne
My Lobotomy , by Howard Dully
The Piano Teacher , by Janice Y.K. Lee
Dark Places , by Gillian Flynn

And no, I didn’t actually hit anyone.  The fact that I posted this photo and nothing else from the weekend (yet) probably makes it seem like all I did is lay around reading while threatening anyone who approached with a stick, but I assure you, this was my only hammock-time.  Photos of family fun time to follow.

Dear Diary

Aliya has been writing in a book called Junie B Jones’ Top Secret Personal Beeswax, and she gave me the go-ahead to share some of her entries:

Three words that describe my mom are:
1) buetiful  2) polite  3) ausome

Three words that describe my dad are:
1) smart  2) funny  3) cool

One thing I don’t like about my family is:
I’m not the boss of the house.

3 rules I would change:

1) I’de do watever I wanted wenever I wanted to.
2) I can stay up as late as I wanted to.
3) I could wake as late as I wanted and still have a fancy breakfist.

4 new school rules I would make are:

1) Only skipping in the halway no walking.
2) have candy instede of work.
3) Girls bathroom would have a spa and hotub and manecuir and peticuir.
4) extra reces every day.

If I could change one thing about my house, it would be:
I’d make it into a manchine with a smoothie bar.

Things That Make Me Nervous!

1) The first thing is talking stuffed animals.
Here’s why: wen talking stuffed animals run out of bateri they sound lik there gona kill you.

2) Mouse traps.
Here’s why: cause if you step on a mousetrap you hurt your foot

3) Badguise
Here’s why: cause if a bad gui comes in your house evrything will be gone.

4) Clowns
Here’s why: cause there lips are much to red and I’m not very happy with how big there feet are.

5) Geting chili poured on me.
Here’s why: I don’t think this one needs explaning.

Grown-ups Are Weird Because:

1) They never have fun they only work and never play on playgrounds and who the heck would’nt want to play on a playground I’m asking you.
2) And they make no sense at all because ones my grandma Ginny asked me if the cat got my tonge and that just sounded like the groses thing I ever heard.

Grown-ups Are Fun Because

1) because they give you big hugs and kisses and that is alote of fun wen your my age.
2) they can drive and they can bring you werever you wan’t to go even to the zoo.

Some Things That Make Me Sad, and Why:

1) When I don’t get what I want because I love getting what I want.
2) When Mommy and Daddy argue but Mommy said that all parents argue sometimes.
3) When by aksident I be notty and then I have to go to timeout.
4) When my brother brakes something and blames it on me.

If you had a generous genie, what 4 wishes would you choose?

1) My first wish would be wourld peace cause that would do use good.
2) My secante wish would be that my family was the richest family in the univers.
3) My third wish would be that we were a family of wizards.
4) My last wish would be in high school J***** would be my boyfriend.

What else do you want to say?

Well I just want to say this that my mommy and daddy will probable never understand or now how very very very very very very very much I love and care about them but that is sord of my fault cause I act up alote around the house.  Plus also I love making homemade cookies and bronies but thats hard with a 3 year old sister and a 5 year old brother and I mean super sometimes I really wish I was an only child other times I love my family egsactly the way it is.