Top-10 Dangers of San Miguel de Allende

When people heard that we were headed to Mexico this summer, there were several who responded with fear and trepidation because of the bad press about Mexico.  Yes, there are certain areas of Mexico that I wouldn’t want to visit right now because of the drug-related violence, but San Miguel de Allende is far removed from the danger.  Of course you need to avoid flashing large sums of pesos around or walking alone late at night, but it’s very safe here.

While I was Googling for proof that SMA was not in the danger zone, I found a blog post listing the 10 most dangerous things about San Miguel de Allende and I decided to create my own version.  Here are the 10 things you need to take note of if you come to SMA:

Walking – El Centro is bustling with cars and people. The sidewalks are narrow and there are steps, ramps, cobblestones, and the occasional hole to watch out for, along with window sills, doors, and other things jutting off the sides of the buildings. There’s so much to look at that it’s easy to fall off an unexpected curb cut while gazing at the embroidered tops or painted figurines (or doors). When you step off the curb to pass someone, look first or you may be hit by one of the many buses or taxis. On certain streets you can get stuck behind a couple out for their evening stroll, with no break in the traffic to allow you to pass – especially when you have 7 people in your party.

Not recommended:

Rain (and Sun) – We’re here during the rainy season, so I expected rain and packed raincoats for everyone. It has actually only rained about 4 or 5 times in 2 weeks, but when it rains, it pours. Each building has rain spouts that go from the roof to the street, so if you’re walking in the rain you need to watch out for those unless you want a shower. And avoid wearing flip-flops in the rain because we had another flip-flop accident yesterday (told ya so). When it’s not raining the sun is very strong, so I’ve been pink for a good part of our trip. The kids have Ben’s skin pigment and are all brown little berries, even thought we used sunscreen.

I haven’t taken my camera out in the rain so this is someone else’s photo, but it confirms our theory that the trees in el Jardin are dense enough to provide some protection during a downpour:

Objets D’Art – They’re EVERYWHERE and there are two problems: 1) I am terrified that one of the kids will break something. 2) I want to buy at least one of everything. I had been warned about “drunk shopping” but I’m dangerous even with no alcohol involved. There is beautiful embroidery, metalwork including light fixtures (I want one!), painted pottery and wood, silver and beaded jewelry, baskets, paintings, rugs…a zillion amazing things. I will be leaving Mexico flat-broke with college in jeopardy, but it makes me feel better if I think about how I am helping the local economy.

Some photos from the Artisans’ Fair at Instituto Allende over the weekend:

Beer Bottles – I don’t understand the beer bottle return policy. The first time I bought beer I couldn’t figure out what the cashier was saying, even with the help of 3 interpreters and the bag boy. So I told her to just forget the beer but she sold it to me anyway. We decided she was saying something about needing to bring the bottles back. So we tried to return the empties and were told that we needed some sort of receipt or ticket. The next time we took the receipt but apparently you’re supposed to return the bottles within 2 days and we were beyond the return period. So at this point our housekeeper is probably thinking that Elizabeth and I are a couple of drunks because we have enough bottles to build one of those beer-bottle pyramids from my college days.  Problem solved – wine bottles are not returnable.

Chilis – You never know where you’re going to find chilis – chili pepper, chili sauce, or the peppers themselves. It’s on the roasted corn, potato chips, plantains, of course a lot of the tacos and gorditas, and the scariest place – candy! Even the Mexican Doritos are spicier than the ones at home.  Last night we ordered pizza and it came with 2 containers of chili sauce. 

Dogs – There are A LOT of dogs in SMA – both street dogs and pets. Most of them don’t seem to bother anyone, but they do bark at night (especially when there’s a raucous party going on) and while you’re watching the sidewalk for steps, ramps, and holes, you also need to watch for dog poop. SMA employs people who clean the streets (sweeping by hand with twig brooms!) and in general it is very clean, but we have had the occasionally poop-on-a-shoe incident (another reason to skip the flip-flops).

Fireworks – We have heard random fireworks throughout our stay – for weddings, new babies, and other celebrations. If you didn’t know about this tradition in advance, you might think the city was under siege, especially when they go off at 7 a.m.  Last Sunday there were enough fireworks that we made it up to the roof in time to enjoy them, but usually it’s just a few that we hear but don’t see.

Clowns – In el Jardin there are always musicians and other performers, one of which is a clown act. The grand finale is when the clown (a full-grown man) and two tiny-women clowns act out a song about a man torn between two lovers (no, it’s not the song by Mary MacGregor), which includes them beating each other – of course not for real but we all found it a little disturbing, while there were some spectators who were laughing hysterically. A very interesting cultural dichotomy.

Spanish – This is Mexico, and the residents of SMA primarily speak Spanish. I had heard people say that SMA was “Americanized” because of all the ex-Pats, but I disagree. I’m sure there have been some changes brought on by the relocation of so many Americans and Canadians, but SMA is still very Mexican. I’ve been working hard on my Spanish, but I need to get serious about it so I can move to SMA someday.

Desire to Relocate – I’ve heard that a lot of people come to SMA and never leave. If it wasn’t an insanely complicated idea, I’d go home, rent out my house, pack up the necessities, and come back for an extended period of time. And if I hadn’t already spent my life savings on Mexican arts and crafts, I’d buy a house here. I will live here at some point in my life. I love the energy of this place.

And there you have it – the dangers of SMA.  Don’t come unless you can handle creepy clowns, unexpected chilis, and occasional poop-on-a-shoe.