Acceptance

Posted on May 31, 2011
by ihatehardware

Yesterday, Ben’s mom passed away. She had spent a week at Mass General after suffering a heart attack last Monday. Once the family had gathered to say their goodbyes, some coming all the way from Morocco, it was time to let her go. Her passing is a blessing in many ways, but it doesn’t make it any easier for the family.

I spent a few hours alone with her on Sunday morning. It was quiet, except for the machines that were helping her breathe, monitoring her, and providing medicines, and I had a lot of time to think. Sitting there, I realized that although my mother-in-law didn’t speak English, and my Arabic is pretty bad, she gave me a very valuable gift – acceptance.

I’m sure when Ben was growing up, his parents expected him to marry a nice Muslim girl. Yet they accepted me with open arms, and I never felt like they wished otherwise. I don’t live by their rules, but I never felt any sense of disapproval…not because I work instead of staying at home with the kids, or because my house is usually a wreck, or I wear shorts, have wine in my cabinet, or have a dog (most Muslims do not believe in having dogs in the house). I can honestly say that I always felt accepted into their family, and Hanna and Ba always greeted me with big smiles and enthusiastic cheek-kisses.

When I left Hanna for the last time, I kissed her forehead and turned to leave her room. A friend of the family’s who I had met for the first time that day said, “Oh – one more thing…” I turned back and she said, “She always said nice things about you.”

This is my favorite photo of Ben’s mom, taken on our boat in August of 2003. I didn’t have much experience driving a boat, and I never would have expected her to agree to going for a ride, but she said something about only having one life and putting it in my hands without concern, and off we went.

Acceptance. A gift I will always cherish.

All Done.

Posted on May 26, 2011
by ihatehardware

I just finished Night-14 at town meeting, and we are done (for now). I was a little disappointed after tonight’s voting, because there were 2 motions made that would have started to rebuild some of the things the schools have lost over the last few years. Neither motion passed, although the second motion only lost by 8 votes, so it was close. I guess I should be happy that we got the level-service budget (amount to keep the same services as last year), plus $500k for new computers, over $400K for paving and a playground that will allow Norah’s preschool to move to a better location, and a new parking lot and ADA bathroom for our elementary school. Not too shabby.

Mostly I’m just extremely excited to get back the 10+ hours/week I’ve been spending sitting on my butt eating M&Ms. I can get back to Zumba (3 hours per week), go back to my night job (4 1/2 hours per week), get back on track with my BLOGGING (1 1/2 hours per week), and even catch an episode of Real Housewives of Orange County (41 minutes). I will miss my pal Elizabeth, but not to worry…there’s a SPECIAL town meeting on June 21st. Until then, I’ll be appreciating my 10+ hours/week more than I ever did before I lost them.

Relay for Life

Posted on May 23, 2011
by ihatehardware

I feel bad, I really do. I’ve been neglecting my blog because I’ve been so overwhelmed with other things, and now I’m going to ask you for money. But I’ll make a deal with you…when I reach my fundraising goal, I’ll post a video of the awesome song written and performed for me by my brother, which was inspired by the comment below.

Last week I was grumbling to a friend because I had the dreaded pink-eye, along with an extremely sore throat, a sliver of glass embedded in my foot, and everything else that threatens to overwhelm me on a daily basis. Well, my friend crashed my pity party by saying, “Be happy. At least you don’t have cancer.”

True. My pink-eye and the rest of my piddly little troubles can’t compare to what millions of others are going through. I know plenty of cancer survivors, friends who are still fighting the battle, and some who did not survive. I’m sure you do too.

So, I decided to join a Relay for Life team and I have some serious catching up to do with my fundraising. Relay for Life is a fundraiser, where relay teams take turns walking around the track to raise money and awareness to help the American Cancer Society create a world with less cancer and more birthdays. Our team is called Adios Cancer! and our relay begins June 11th.

I’m hoping that some of you will be willing to make a donation to the American Cancer Society to help me reach (surpass!) my fundraising goal. For a minimum $10 donation you can request a luminaria in support, honor, or memory of someone you love. I would be proud to walk in their honor. If you’re local, we’re having a dinner party at O’Connell’s Pub on June 9th and 15% of sales will go to our team’s total. Leave a comment and I’ll add you to the evite.

Click Here to Donate (please)

Post Vacation Week in Review

Posted on April 29, 2011
by ihatehardware

Monday was a complete blur of catching up with work and figuring out what I was behind on. At school, we have the staff appreciation lunch (I’m organizing) and the spring fundraiser (I’m handling the raffles) coming up next week, so I had some work to do on those so I wouldn’t start to panic. Aliya had a make-up game Monday night but it was cold and rainy and everyone was worn out so Ben took her and the rest of us stayed home and recovered from a day of not being on vacation.

Tuesday I spent the day in my office and then went to the town hall for my first official town meeting. I generally like to be prepared, and I felt very unprepared for town meeting. The meeting for new members with the moderator was during vacation, so I didn’t get the primer on the rules and I hadn’t had time to read the giant envelope of paper that arrived while we were gone. I was definitely out of my element, but the guy who was a driving force behind recruiting new members matched us up with mentors so I was in good hands. My mentor was Bernice, who not only told us what was going on throughout the night, but also picked up the handouts for us and brought cookies. I sat with 2 people from my precinct and our school, and it was nice to get to know them better.

The process was really interesting, but it took quite a while to get through each article with all of the discussion from committees and town meeting members. I think we only got through 4 articles Tuesday night and we have 36 articles on the warrant, so it’s going to take a while. I’m definitely learning who the characters in town are. The meeting started at 7:30 (I had to meet with my mentor at 7) and ended just after 10.

Wednesday we had tickets to the Big Apple Circus, which I had ordered before I became a town meeting member. I LOVE this circus, and I have gone at least a dozen times. I used to find other peoples’ kids to take with me when I was single. A few weeks ago I realized that our tickets were for vacation week, because we weren’t originally planning to go away. I went to the circus’ website and filled out the generic contact form asking if there was any way to switch the tickets to a different night. A woman contacted me by email and switched our tickets to the night of our choice and gave us the same second row seats at the same half-price discount. I was BEYOND impressed. There’s still time to get your tickets!

We went to the Kinsale for dinner before the show, conveniently located across the street. That was the scene of Norah’s defecation video last year. The circus was great as always…amazing performers, beautiful costumes, live music, a small venue, and non-profit. My favorite act was the animal act – 12 miniature horses, 3 goats, a bunch of dogs, and a full-sized horse. The kids loved this clown guy who talked in a crazy voice. Norah watched him for a few minutes and then asked, “Is he talking Spanish?!” It was a late night and I missed all of town meeting (I had hoped to go late), but it was a lot of fun except for the bickering. On the way from my office in Needham to downtown Boston (20 minutes), Aliya pulled Adlani’s hair, Adlani bit Aliya, and Aliya smacked Norah, so at one point they were all wailing. Ben and I discussed how we could have spent the same amount of money on a fancy dinner, a movie, and a sitter. Tempting.

Thursday was Adlani’s parent-teacher conference. The good news is that he’s doing much better in almost every subject. The bad news is he hates reading and he’s having a terrible time with it. We’re having a meeting next week to start the process of having him evaluated to see how we can best help him. He’s a whiz in math, and does well in science and social studies, but reading and writing are just not easy for him.

Thursday night I went back to town meeting. I think they had made it through another 4 articles while I was at the circus. We voted on another 4 or 5 and then adjourned until Wednesday. I’m so excited that I’ll be able to go to Zumba, since the 3 weeknights that I can go are the same weeknights that I have town meeting.

I started out this morning with a dentist appointment for all 3 kids to have sealants applied to their teeth. I could hear Adlani and Norah screaming all the way from the waiting room. Apparently it doesn’t taste good, but hopefully it will keep the cavities at bay. The dentist had a roomful of dental students so I’m sure he was thrilled with the screaming.

Tonight Aliya had soccer practice and then Ben got the brilliant idea of going to the mall to shop for mothers’ day. I wanted to find a present for my mom, so I agreed. Shopping with the three cabelleros is not easy, and not particularly enjoyable. Ben kept them out in the mall so I could look at some clothes, and then we went to my favorite jewelry store. They didn’t break anything or pocket anything (as far as I know), so the shopping was a success. We had dinner at California Pizza Kitchen, and everyone is finally zonked out.

We have 2 soccer games tomorrow, and on Sunday Aliya and I are going to see Grease with some friends. I’ve got some prep-work to do for the fundraiser, and I would really like to do a new board for the teachers’ wish lists at preschool. I’m really looking forward to summer weekends at camp, where we have forced relaxation accompanied by plenty of eating and drinking. About 8 more weeks!

We’re back.

Posted on April 25, 2011
by ihatehardware

It’s 6:15 p.m. I’m in my pajamas and I have a tankard of wine. There’s a chicken pot pie (Willow Tree Farm – the best!) in the oven which I’m going to gorge myself on in 31 minutes. This is highly unusual behavior for me, especially since I’m also writing on my poor, neglected blog. It feels pretty good, so maybe I should make a habit of it. God knows, my “normal” habits aren’t working. No matter how hard I try I’ll never get it all done, so why bother?!

I couldn’t post about our vacation as it was happening because the internet connection was really slow and it made uploading photos tough. So I’ve saved it all up and I will now attempt to recreate our trip for your reading pleasure and so that my kids won’t be able to say I never took them anywhere.

Last Saturday, Aliya and Adlani both had soccer games so we waited until after the second game to leave on our road trip. We took off at 3 p.m. and headed south. Normally I have the entire round-trip route mapped out before we leave, with printed maps and directions filed in a corrugated folder with daily dividers, along with our hotel confirmations and lists of local restaurants. I would also plan a place to visit each day (zoo, museum, etc.) so the kids can get some of the crazies out, and of course, that information would be in the corrugated folder too.

This trip was different. We had no hotel reservations, no directions. We knew the final destination (Myrtle Beach), and the approximate ETA, but that’s it. So when I say we headed south, that’s what we did.

The drive was uneventful until NJ, but then the kids started getting antsy so we decided to stop at the Rainforest Cafe. While we waited for our table we roamed the mall and just generally enjoyed being out of the car. After dinner we got back on the road and hit REALLY bad rain storms. The rain came in bands, so it was zero-visibility for 10-15 minutes at a time, and then as soon as we decided to find a hotel it would clear up. We finally stopped in Maryland at 1 a.m. We standardized on Hampton Inns so it was just a matter of looking for the next one on my iPhone and calling to see if they had rooms.

The next morning when we woke up, we realized that the rain was part of the storm system that caused all of the tornadoes across the south. It was a gorgeous day so we headed for DC and walked from the Washington Monument to the Lincoln Memorial and back. It was pretty crowded but the kids had fun and we enjoyed being outside in the sun. I made Ben stop at a building that I worked on – the United States Institute of Peace. It’s gorgeous and it felt good to know that I was a part of it…even if I only had a small part (the door hardware). I took tons of pictures for my work blog and finally got kicked out by Security – the first time ever.

From DC we drove all the way to Myrtle Beach and arrived at midnight. There was one spot on 95 that had a 12-15 mile backup in both directions, so I figured it was an area that had visible tornado damage. We got off the highway and took the back roads to avoid the traffic. We didn’t see a lot of damage because the police had certain roads closed. We ate at a BBQ place and the waitress said that 50 trailers had been demolished beside the highway, which accounted for the backup. By the time we finished dinner it was dark and the traffic was gone so it was smooth sailing from there.

We spent Monday-Thursday in Myrtle Beach and left on Friday morning. Monday we were mostly recuperating from the long trip, and the kids spent the day taunting the alligators in the retention pond and learning that fire ants will try to eat you if you stand on their home. They spent some time at the playground but it was a very low-key day. Tuesday I had lunch with a coworker and a customer, so everyone else spent the time at the beach. They got really sunburned even though they had sunscreen on. We stopped at Broadway at the Beach to have ice cream and go on some rides.

Wednesday was another low-key day and then we went out to dinner. We had 2 coupons and it was against the rules to sit separately and use separate coupons, so Ben, Adlani and I had to pretend not to know the rest of the group. I could hear Norah saying to the waitress, “WE DON’T KNOW THOSE PEOPLE!” but she didn’t catch on (at least not before she processed both coupons).

Thursday was supposed to rain but the rain held off all day, so we went to the local zoo (I don’t recommend it), then back to Broadway at the Beach for a late lunch. The kids wanted to try the trampoline so we ended up with passes that allowed them to do the trampoline, paddleboats, coconut trees, and climbing wall. They had a blast. Norah got stuck about 25 feet up on the climbing wall because she didn’t weigh enough for the hydraulic cable to carry her down to the bottom, but she was rescued by a nice Asian girl who left the rope tied to her after that so she could yank her down if necessary.

Friday morning we left Myrtle Beach around 9 and headed north, again with no plans. It was a little easier because we had 3 days to get home so we didn’t have 8-hour days of driving. Friday we drove to Virginia, by way of the Rocky Mount (NC) Children’s Museum and Science Center. The town seemed very depressed but the museum is beautiful. It’s in an old mill complex so the building itself is gorgeous. The museum is small but the kids enjoyed it. We got to the hotel early enough for them to go in the pool so it was a great day as far as they were concerned.

Saturday we drove to DC again, and since it was another beautiful day we went to the National Zoo. The highlight (other than the price – FREE!) was the lion habitat. There were 2 females, 1 male, and 7 cubs. I could have stood there all day watching them. The cubs were so playful, jumping on each other and on the lionesses. We spent a few hours there and then drove to our home away from home – yet another Hampton Inn, in Maryland. The kids got in a half an hour of swimming followed by pizza, then early to bed in case the Easter Bunny was headed our way (he was). Around midnight I was drawn to the window and I saw 2 red fox running along the fence line. Very cool.

Sunday we drove straight home with just a stop for lunch at Bertucci’s. The old me would have put the kids to bed and then spent 3 or 4 hours working but the new me read a book on my iPad until I passed out at 11. I LOVE reading on my iPad! And I forgot to mention…navigating on the iPad is AWESOME! I had signed up for 3G while we were in Myrtle Beach, so on the way back I was able to use the iPad instead of my phone. I could search for upcoming Hampton Inns, see if they had an indoor pool, and then make a reservation online. I could find gas, or ice cream, or whatever else we were desperate for. I could look for things to do when the kids couldn’t sit in the car any more, and I could check the local restaurant reviews to decide where to eat. I could also read, answer my email, and watch Real Housewives. I won’t leave home without it ever again. Seriously, everyone needs one!

I have tons more photos and I’ll upload them to Flickr when I get a chance. The old me would have spent the next 3 hours working on them, but the new me says, “Nightie-night!”