Category Archives for Family

Holy Tornado!

I think this is a first for me.  I don’t ever remember being in a location that was under a tornado watch in my entire life.

I found out about the tornado watch (on Facebook) just before the kids got off the bus.  I wasn’t sure whether to tell them about it, but I figured they’d find out anyway so I told them without getting them too freaked out.  About a half hour after they got home, Adlani ran in and said, “Something’s wrong with the TV!”  It was the warning system message saying that certain towns were under a tornado warning, which is a step above a watch.  That sent the kids into a panic, with Aliya running around the house looking for Henry (the cat), and Adlani heading for the basement immediately.  Norah was sticking pretty close to me, but whining that we needed to go to the basement.  Adlani was crying and yelling, “I DON’T WANNA DIE!”  He’s such a Drama King.

We were able to watch streaming coverage of the tornadoes online so we knew where they were and where they were headed.  We didn’t end up having one here, but there was extreme thunder and lightning.  The news is reporting that 4 people were killed by a tornado in Springfield, Westfield, and Brimfield, which is the town next to camp.  A tornado passed over route 84 near the exit we take to get there…storms at camp are always intense so luckily nobody was there.  Hopefully all of the trees are still standing.

Acceptance

Yesterday, Ben’s mom passed away.  She had spent a week at Mass General after suffering a heart attack last Monday.  Once the family had gathered to say their goodbyes, some coming all the way from Morocco, it was time to let her go.  Her passing is a blessing in many ways, but it doesn’t make it any easier for the family.

I spent a few hours alone with her on Sunday morning.  It was quiet, except for the machines that were helping her breathe, monitoring her, and providing medicines, and I had a lot of time to think.  Sitting there, I realized that although my mother-in-law didn’t speak English, and my Arabic is pretty bad, she gave me a very valuable gift – acceptance.

I’m sure when Ben was growing up, his parents expected him to marry a nice Muslim girl.  Yet they accepted me with open arms, and I never felt like they wished otherwise.  I don’t live by their rules, but I never felt any sense of disapproval…not because I work instead of staying at home with the kids, or because my house is usually a wreck, or I wear shorts, have wine in my cabinet, or have a dog (most Muslims do not believe in having dogs in the house).  I can honestly say that I always felt accepted into their family, and Hanna and Ba always greeted me with big smiles and enthusiastic cheek-kisses.

When I left Hanna for the last time, I kissed her forehead and turned to leave her room.  A friend of the family’s who I had met for the first time that day said, “Oh – one more thing…”  I turned back and she said, “She always said nice things about you.”

This is my favorite photo of Ben’s mom, taken on our boat in August of 2003.  I didn’t have much experience driving a boat, and I never would have expected her to agree to going for a ride, but she said something about only having one life and putting it in my hands without concern, and off we went. 

Acceptance.  A gift I will always cherish.

Post Vacation Week in Review

Monday was a complete blur of catching up with work and figuring out what I was behind on. At school, we have the staff appreciation lunch (I’m organizing) and the spring fundraiser (I’m handling the raffles) coming up next week, so I had some work to do on those so I wouldn’t start to panic. Aliya had a make-up game Monday night but it was cold and rainy and everyone was worn out so Ben took her and the rest of us stayed home and recovered from a day of not being on vacation.

Tuesday I spent the day in my office and then went to the town hall for my first official town meeting. I generally like to be prepared, and I felt very unprepared for town meeting. The meeting  for new members with the moderator was during vacation, so I didn’t get the primer on the rules and I hadn’t had time to read the giant envelope of paper that arrived while we were gone. I was definitely out of my element, but the guy who was a driving force behind recruiting new members matched us up with mentors so I was in good hands. My mentor was Bernice, who not only told us what was going on throughout the night, but also picked up the handouts for us and brought cookies. I sat with 2 people from my precinct and our school, and it was nice to get to know them better.

The process was really interesting, but it took quite a while to get through each article with all of the discussion from committees and town meeting members. I think we only got through 4 articles Tuesday night and we have 36 articles on the warrant, so it’s going to take a while. I’m definitely learning who the characters in town are. The meeting started at 7:30 (I had to meet with my mentor at 7) and ended just after 10.

Wednesday we had tickets to the Big Apple Circus, which I had ordered before I became a town meeting member. I LOVE this circus, and I have gone at least a dozen times. I used to find other peoples’ kids to take with me when I was single. A few weeks ago I realized that our tickets were for vacation week, because we weren’t originally planning to go away. I went to the circus’ website and filled out the generic contact form asking if there was any way to switch the tickets to a different night. A woman contacted me by email and switched our tickets to the night of our choice and gave us the same second row seats at the same half-price discount. I was BEYOND impressed.  There’s still time to get your tickets!

We went to the Kinsale for dinner before the show, conveniently located across the street. That was the scene of Norah’s defecation video last year. The circus was great as always…amazing performers, beautiful costumes, live music, a small venue, and non-profit. My favorite act was the animal act – 12 miniature horses, 3 goats, a bunch of dogs, and a full-sized horse. The kids loved this clown guy who talked in a crazy voice. Norah watched him for a few minutes and then asked, “Is he talking Spanish?!” It was a late night and I missed all of town meeting (I had hoped to go late), but it was a lot of fun except for the bickering. On the way from my office in Needham to downtown Boston (20 minutes), Aliya pulled Adlani’s hair, Adlani bit Aliya, and Aliya smacked Norah, so at one point they were all wailing. Ben and I discussed how we could have spent the same amount of money on a fancy dinner, a movie, and a sitter. Tempting.

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Thursday was Adlani’s parent-teacher conference. The good news is that he’s doing much better in almost every subject. The bad news is he hates reading and he’s having a terrible time with it. We’re having a meeting next week to start the process of having him evaluated to see how we can best help him. He’s a whiz in math, and does well in science and social studies, but reading and writing are just not easy for him.

Thursday night I went back to town meeting. I think they had made it through another 4 articles while I was at the circus. We voted on another 4 or 5 and then adjourned until Wednesday. I’m so excited that I’ll be able to go to Zumba, since the 3 weeknights that I can go are the same weeknights that I have town meeting.

I started out this morning with a dentist appointment for all 3 kids to have sealants applied to their teeth. I could hear Adlani and Norah screaming all the way from the waiting room. Apparently it doesn’t taste good, but hopefully it will keep the cavities at bay. The dentist had a roomful of dental students so I’m sure he was thrilled with the screaming.

Tonight Aliya had soccer practice and then Ben got the brilliant idea of going to the mall to shop for mothers’ day. I wanted to find a present for my mom, so I agreed. Shopping with the three cabelleros is not easy, and not particularly enjoyable. Ben kept them out in the mall so I could look at some clothes, and then we went to my favorite jewelry store. They didn’t break anything or pocket anything (as far as I know), so the shopping was a success. We had dinner at California Pizza Kitchen, and everyone is finally zonked out.

We have 2 soccer games tomorrow, and on Sunday Aliya and I are going to see Grease with some friends. I’ve got some prep-work to do for the fundraiser, and I would really like to do a new board for the teachers’ wish lists at preschool. I’m really looking forward to summer weekends at camp, where we have forced relaxation accompanied by plenty of eating and drinking. About 8 more weeks!

Spanish is not my first language.

Norah is right on the brink of learning to read. She writes certain words that she knows (Norah, Lori, Ben, Aliya, Adlani, to, from, boob), and she is doing pretty well sounding out words. Yesterday she was riding in the back seat and she said, “What does Y-O spell?” If I had half a brain I would have realized that in her world (Spanish immersion preschool), Y-O spells yo, which means “I”…as in “Yo quiero chocolate.” Instead, I told her that Y-O spells yo, as in “yo-mama.” She thought about it for a minute and then asked, “How do you spell, ‘Yo! Yo! My name is Joe! My butt is bigger than Mex-i-co!”  The next 15 years should be fun.

In this photo, Norah is wearing a pair of (clean) underwear on her head, under the Spiderman hat.  To round out the look, she drew an arrow on her cheek with marker.

It’s Never Enough

We had a very productive weekend.  Ben got Aliya to her 7 a.m. soccer game on Saturday, and she also made it to her Brownie meeting thanks to the Pearce family.  Adlani had a playdate (thanks Yarmos!), and to appease Norah I took our  next-door neighbor to Mad Willies with her (our neighbor is in 6th grade so it was a pity playdate).  Ben and I cleaned the whole house, and made a great dinner for his mother, sister, aunt, and a family friend.  Today I spent most of the day trying to catch up on some work and simultaneously help Aliya with her research project for Sage.  I also did at least 8 loads of laundry, grocery shopped, and did a multitude of small tasks that I can’t think of right now.  I accomplished a lot.

BUT.  It’s never enough.  I can never do enough to dig myself out of the hole I’ve inadvertently created.  I finish 2 types of tasks – the ones that only take a few minutes, like responding to the easy emails, and the ones that are so close to the deadline (or beyond) that if I don’t do it RIGHT NOW I will get fired or someone will get kicked out of school.  The rest of the stuff, for the people who aren’t complaining, gets put off until it gets to that same critical point.  Right now I have 52 emails waiting, which will take me anywhere from 20 minutes to 5 hours each to address.  Tomorrow I will get about 100 more.  I’m not exagerrating.

So, if you’re not a squeaky wheel but you’re waiting for me to get back to you on something, your best bet is to start squeaking.  Am I the only one with this problem?  What am I doing wrong here???

And because you read through my entire pity-party post, I’ll share with you a funny moment from the weekend.  We were having dinner last night with Ben’s family, when Norah said to Ben’s mom, “DO YOU HAVE TEETH?!?!”  Norah had told me previously that “Hanna doesn’t have teeth,” and was shocked when she noticed that she was chewing her food.  Hanna showed Norah her teeth and Norah was puzzled.  She kept insisting on seeing them again.  After dinner she somehow realized that Hanna no longer had teeth, and when “Show me your teeth!” didn’t work she kept saying, “Show me your gums!”  It was so funny…we were all in tears.  That kid is trouble – very smart but with no filter.  Pray for us.

Here she is with all of her little leprechaun friends.  In Spanish the leprechaun is called a “duende,” which she thought was pretty funny since that’s her cousin’s name.