A lot of people already know this, but in case you don’t…I don’t like public speaking.  Not a big surprise since many people consider public speaking scarier than death, but it’s probably somewhat surprising considering that I do it, and I think I usually do a decent job of it.  The award I just won was for a presentation so I must have done a good job that day.

A lot of things got put off in the months leading up to Norah’s surgery.  A LOT.  I’ve been struggling to catch up, and I’m just chugging through the list the best I can.  Last week I got a couple of routine annual doctors’ appointments out of the way, and finally made an appointment to talk to someone about my public speaking anxiety.  I had surfed around looking at different coaches and approaches, and I finally settled on a 1-day workshop with Carla Kimball at Riverways, which was being held last Friday.  Phew!  Check.

A couple of days after I scheduled the workshop, I got an email saying that there weren’t enough people signed up and would I mind attending the November workshop instead.  AAHHHH!  I have a presentation for a group of building inspectors on the 9th!  It’s an emergency!!!  OK…maybe not an emergency, but I was all psyched up to go and it was disappointing to have to put it off.  So I asked Carla if we could do a private session instead and she agreed.

In hindsight, it was a long drive to Lebanon NH for a 2 1/2-hour session, but it was worth it.  I had read a lot about Carla and her work, and I really felt like she was a good match for me and my issues.  So we met in her office, I told her about my “symptoms,” and she spent a lot of time explaining how the brain works, and how to distract myself when my mind tries to convince me that I’m going to pass out or pee my pants in front of a bunch of fire marshals.  I like scientific evidence and Carla’s explanation really made sense. 

Then she asked the $64,000 question – what do I do to relax.  Uh…I don’t relax.  Ever.  I know it’s a problem, but I thought the problem was that my quality of life is being affected – not that it’s part of my anxiety/stress issue.  Huh.  She recommended a weekly yoga class so I’ve added finding a class to the to-do list.  Then she told me that I need to meditate for 15 minutes per day – 3 times at 5 minutes each.  Really?  Me?  Criss-cross-applesauce on a cushion??  I told Carla that if I closed my eyes to meditate I’d fall asleep, and I really believed that.

But then I started thinking about it.  I was able to use 3 different types of relaxation / self-hypnosis to have natural childbirth 3 times.  Somehow I was able to work up enough belief in those techniques to not freak out during labor.  Maybe controlling my mind WOULD help with public speaking.  Carla taught me how to meditate, and described some scientific studies about the effects of meditation on the brain.  I bought it, and I told her that I would try to meditate daily.  We scheduled a phone follow-up for one week later.

I can’t tell you that meditation has made me a new person (yet), but I have done some reading and there are plenty of people who agree with Carla on this.  I will tell you…it’s not easy for me to find time to meditate in the morning, and again during the day.  The night-time one is easy because she said I could continue my bedtime relaxation technique and count it as my third meditation.  I haven’t fallen asleep during my daytime meditations yet, and it has become startlingly clear that my mind NEVER stops.  Because I’m so busy, I’ve removed all of the “mindless” activities from my life.  I don’t watch TV without also sending emails, paying bills, or at least doing housework at the same time.  I don’t listen to music in the car, because I need the quiet time to think about the next meeting, conference call, or task I’ve got coming up.  And I’m obviously not laying out in the back yard looking at the clouds or the stars.  This is NOT GOOD!  I think my brain may be almost worn out! 

So, I need a yoga class.  Not one of those hard-core sweaty yoga classes…a class that won’t mind a creaky beginner who may have to be woken up when it’s time to go home.  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?

I have a new addiction.  It’s probably less expensive and causes less long-term damage than other things I could have become addicted to, but it’s impossible to hide from those around me. 

The Swanx.

In my defense, I have bad feet.  I had to wear sneakers for at least a year to get rid of the plantar fasciitis I had in both feet.  I can wear Dansko or Sanita clogs without the inserts that I have to wear with other shoes, but the typical clogs are kind of plain.  I have distressed brown clogs, black suede mary jane clogs, and patterned leather ones.  I even have a pair of wooden-soled clogs from HIGH SCHOOL!  Seriously! 

Just before my birthday I found The Swanx.  They are Sanita clogs that are handpainted with a variety of gorgeous designs.  Ben bought me a pair for my birthday and I bought myself another pair because they were being discontinued – only 48 pairs of each design are sold before they are retired.  Then they had their twice-annual sale, and I bought another pair.  So the total currently stands at 3 pairs, but my birthday pair came with a $20 coupon which I will just HAVE to use at some point.  Yesterday one of my friends’ husbands saw me wearing a pair and said, “Hey – that’s a different pair from the ones you were wearing last week, isn’t it?”  Like I said, I can’t hide it so I’m just going to be honest. 

The Swanx aren’t cheap, and they’re addicting, so be prepared when you go to their website.  They do have a “last chance” page where some designs are available at a reduced price in limited sizes.  Some of their designs are related to nursing or the medical field, because there are so many medical professionals that wear clogs.  I got lots of compliments on them when we were in the hospital last week.  The company was started by a husband and wife, when the husband wanted to help his wife (a nurse) spruce up her clogs, and the company is on track to hit $700,000 in sales in 2010.   Each pair is hand-painted by an artist, so I like to think of my addiction as supporting the art community.  I don’t feel as guilty for spending the kids’ college fund on shoes that way. 

They have great customer service too…I had to return my first two pairs because the sizes are European and I needed a different size.  They exchanged them for me even though both designs had been discontinued and my original pairs are now on the last chance page at 20% off.  If you buy a pair of Swanx, put my name in the “referred by” box and I’ll eventually earn a free pair!  I’ve got my eye on these:

“Dear Mom I was super cold and I do not have a comferter do you now of any comferters I can use wheel mine is being washed.  Love your best daughter Aliya (also signed Aliya).” 

Apparently we’re having some sort of a blanket shortage which could not be solved since I wasn’t home.  Tonight was a good night, actually, if you can stretch your mind to consider a meeting of the Door & Hardware Institute a good time.  I was on a panel to answer code questions, and we did really well.  More important, I HATE public speaking and I didn’t wet myself, faint, vomit, or any of the other things I worry about right before a presentation.  I actually kind of enjoyed it.  AND…I received the Award of Merit that I wasn’t able to accept at the DHI convention.  It’s kind of ironic that I received the award for a presentation, which I just finished saying that I hate to do.

I got a nice note about the award from my boss’ boss’ boss’ boss…

“Lori,

It is with great pride and admiration that I read the attached article of recognition for you and your fellow employees.  What a tremendous honor you have earned…this speaks highly of your contributions to both the Industry and Ingersoll Rand. At Ingersoll Rand we strive to be the place of choice for the best people in the Security Industry.  You obviously have distinguished yourself in the eyes of our industry and are a fine example of exactly what we want and need in our company.  Thank you for everything you have done and will do for Ingersoll Rand and Congratulations on this outstanding achievement. I look forward to congratulating you in person in the very near future.

Br, Tim”

Here’s the article Tim was referring to:

Security Technologies employees honored
by trade association for industry service

The Door and Hardware Institute (DHI), the leading trade association of hardware distributors and manufacturers in the Americas, recently honored Security Technologies employees Steve Hornyak, Lori Greene and Tony Boatman for their significant service and outstanding contributions to the architectural openings industry.

In late September at DHI’s annual conference and exposition in Chicago, Ill., the trade group presented its 2010 awards to individuals for their leadership and service to the industry. Of note was the fact that Ingersoll Rand was the only manufacturer represented among the association’s honorees this year.

“These honors recognize the hard work and dedication of Steve, Tony and Lori,” says Chuck Strauss, vice president, Regional Sales, Americas. “Their leadership within the security and door hardware Industry benefits both our customers and Ingersoll Rand, and we are pleased and proud of this recognition from DHI.”

A Fellow Award for outstanding service to DHI was presented to Steve, who is general sales manager with the Americas SSC Mid-Atlantic region in Wilmington, Del. He was recognized for his service to DHI, having been a national instructor for DHI for two decades. He also has been tireless in advancing the education of fire code enforcement organizations and fire marshals on a local and national level regarding architectural openings. He has been active with DHI for over 20 years, serving on its Board of Governors from 2004-2007, as well as being elected first vice president. Steve has been with Ingersoll Rand as an employee since 2001, and was a manufacturer’s rep of our security products for several years prior.

DHI’s Award of Merit was presented to Lori, specification team lead with the SSC of New England in Needham Heights, Mass., and Tony, electronic training coordinator/end user sales representative with the SSC Texas in Austin.

Tony was recognized for his exemplary advocacy for local education at his Lone Star South Chapter, which has conducted over 30 national courses for its local members. He has been involved with DHI for 30 years, earning the DHI designation of Distinguished Consultant in 2006 after receiving numerous other consultant certifications from the trade group. He also has served on DHI’s Board of Certification and its Education Council. Tony has been with Ingersoll Rand since 1999.

Lori was honored for her outstanding leadership and results on behalf of DHI’s 2008 Conference Host Committee, developing and delivering a seminar that attracted a record-breaking 100 architects as attendees. She has been active with DHI for over 20 years, and maintains a popular architectural hardware blog, www.idighardware.com, for the industry. Lori has been with Ingersoll Rand as an employee since 2001, and had been a manufacturer’s rep of our security products since 1994.

Steve Hornyak, winner of the Door and Hardware Institute’s Fellow Award in 2010.

Tony Boatman, winner of the Door and Hardware Institute’s Award of Merit in 2010.

Lori Greene, winner of the Door and Hardware Institute’s Award of Merit in 2010.

I think I’ll go to bed early to celebrate.