For some reason, watching The Biggest Loser doesn’t entice me to put down the Twinkie and get off the couch, but the TLC show “Clean Sweep” makes me want to call Dumpsters-R-Us and splurge on my very own 40-cubic-yard dumpster to fill to the brim with all of the stuff that I spend my life picking up off the floor and moving somewhere else in my house. The STUFF is driving me INSANE!!! Truthfully, I probably don’t have a big enough mess to get on the show…I think some of those people probably have some sort of hoarding disorder, but we still have a LOT of stuff.

If you’re an avid reader of this blog you’ll know that Adlani came home from school sick yesterday, and I didn’t want to risk more accidents at school today, so I kept him home. Since I had a dentist appointment, a lunch date, and also had to go to my office, Ben took the day off from work and stayed home too. Last night Ben said, “Just leave me a list.” After 1 nanosecond of consideration I said, “THE GARAGE!” So I came home from the dentist and found the entire driveway filled with everything from our garage (just like the show!!). It was an impressive amount of stuff. Ben spent all day, without sustenance (it’s still Ramadan), sorting through the mountain range of miscellaneous possessions.

.

Here are just a few examples of what’s in our garage along with the tools, ride-on toys, Christmas decorations, recycle bins, lawn furniture, snow tires, and 16 bins of kids’ clothes that they haven’t grown into yet:

~ A porch swing that I bought on eBay which was supposed to go on our porch but never got put together. We have since demolished the porch to build our family room and have no place to hang the porch swing.

~ 15 yards of denim that I was going to use to recover the turd-brown couch and chair at camp, but which the mice have chewed to use for bedding. The couch and chair still look like turds. Big ones.

.

~ An old trunk that I bought at an auction in 1992 with plans to refurbish. I guess I’ll do it when I retire. Does anyone else see a pattern here?

~ Size 16 basketball shoes, a safe with no key, and books on obsolete software that our friend asked to store in our garage about 6 years ago. He has since moved again and remarried. I don’t think he’ll miss it…although I am curious about whether there’s anything in the safe.

~ For those of you that remember Aliya’s 4th birthday party when I decorated the garage (the last time it was clean), some of the decorations were still hanging from the rafters. Her 6th birthday is later this month.

~ The cassette versions of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and Learn French In Your Car. I don’t speak French, I’m probably not even marginally effective, and I no longer have a cassette player.

The garage looks great now! 10 points to Ben!!! Next up…the basement!

The nurse from Adlani’s school called me this morning to tell me that he had a diarrhea accident. Ick. She said if it happened again I’d have to come pick him up, and after lunch I got another call. When I got to school the teacher said, “I hope you’re not going anywhere because he’s wearing ‘floods’ “…apparently that’s Framinghamese for “high waters”. He had exhausted his clothing supply so he was wearing size 2T pants and undies from the lost and found. He looked hilarious.

As we were walking down the hall to leave he said, “When I was outside my teacher wouldn’t let me go potty so I went to play and suddenly I heard poop coming out of me…I wouldn’t want to eat it for dinner.” Where does he get these ideas? Boys are ODD!!!

The great thing is that he is now officially old enough for me to work at home while he’s here. He played in his room for a little while and then took a nap. I didn’t miss a beat…and due to my new brain – my beloved Blackberry – I didn’t miss a phone call or email either. When I’m juggling kids, Ben, architects, my coworkers, and everyone else who wants a piece of me, this song plays over and over in my head: http://pages.prodigy.net/area512/circus1.mid

The good news of the day is that the termite guy came for our annual inspection and we don’t have termites, the winged creatures Zoe dug out of the flower bed were citronella ants (when you squeeze them they smell like citronella), and the yellow jacket nest in the wall of the house isn’t very big and they’ll die over the winter. $75 is a small price to pay for another bug-free year.

An unrelated but cute quote…on the way to school this morning Aliya said, “When Norah grows up I think she wants to be a bull-rider.” Me: “Why?” Aliya: “Because she’s always flailing her arms around.”

Aliya and I left the house at 9:30 a.m. to go to her soccer tournament, while Ben hung out with Adlani and Norah with strict orders to have them fed and dressed by 12:30. The soccer tournament was great. First they had team and individual photos, then a game and lunch. They also had some games the kids could play – Aliya won a visor – and discontinued team jerseys for sale for $5 each. We booked out of there at 12:20 to go home and pick up everyone else and head to the fun fair at Adlani’s preschool.

I got them moving toward the door and drove to BJ’s since I forgot that I was supposed to bring something to Aliya’s kindergarten picnic. Ben met me in the BJ’s parking lot and we drove to preschool. The fun fair was really nice – Aliya and Adlani had a great time playing games and somehow we found 4 more costumes we had to have. For $5 each you can’t go wrong. Aliya fell in love with a Bratz costume. Ugh. After about a half hour Aliya and I left to go to her picnic, while Ben oversaw the wild man and Norah, who was contentedly riding around in her stroller.

The kindergarten picnic was a lot of fun. They had a few games for the kids, and lots of food and then a treasure hunt. I felt a little like a minority because most of the people there spoke Spanish. We saw Aliya’s teacher and she told me what a great helper Aliya is and that she’s their little translator. She said she was like a sponge soaking up the language. We also talked to the principal. We saw our neighbors who have twins in two of the other classes, and also some friends from soccer.

It was a very hectic day but a great time and I’m glad we were able to fit everything in. I think stuff like this really helps the kids feel more like a part of their school.