Some of the Mommies and I just returned from a whirlwind trip to the Spa at the Norwich Inn, in Norwich Connecticut. We packed into Dana’s new urban assault vehicle, which seats 7 but only if all 7 people plan to wear today’s clothes tomorrow, go commando in the pool and hot tub, and use the hotel’s toiletries. Since this was my virgin spa excursion and I didn’t get the memo about packing light I brought the most crap, but somehow we were able to squeeze in all of our snacks, belly-dancing attire, books, magazines, beverages, and pj’s, and we were on our way.
The trip went off without a hitch until we reached Route 9, when Nancy the Navigator assured us that we should take the more scenic Route 20 instead of the Mass Pike. Personally I like taking the scenic route. Now I know how to get to Sparky’s Gun Shop and the adjacent Toy/Lingerie/Video store and Yummy Chinese take-out place. As we (finally) flew down 395, Nancy messed with our heads again by telling us to exit the highway 18 miles before our destination. I could have sworn that the Google directions said the spa was only 2 miles from Route 395, but who am I to dispute Nancy? So over the river (via the Butt Bridge) and through the woods we went. Gia and I felt right at home, having grown up in New Hampshire and Vermont, and we tried to keep the ladies occupied with our tales of bucket rings and other backwoods customs. By about the 12th mile through Connecticut’s version of Appalachia, patience started wearing thin, which made our arrival at the spa that much more festive.
We went for a quick lunch in one of the inn’s restaurants, but “quick” in spa-time is similar to “kimagamaga” in Africa-time. We finished and got down to the spa just in time to don our robes and go to our first treatment. As we waited around the pool, a completely bald man (who reminded me so much of one of my competitors, Scott Tobias) called my name. The massage therapists were at least 95% female so I wasn’t expecting a rub-down from Ken, but I recovered quickly and followed him to a small dark room. The next hour was pure bliss, and eventually I stopped thinking about Scott Tobias working the kinks out of my back. (Jenny – Ken didn’t actually use his bald head during the massage and hopefully it was too dark for him to see that I kept smiling while thinking about telling you that he did.)
My second treatment was a facial with Rhonda. Luckily Rhonda didn’t remind me of any hardware people. Another small dark room, another heated table – very cocoonlike and relaxing. Part of the facial was a hand treatment, where she lathered up my hands and put them into heated oven mitts which were connected together like hot handcuffs. Rhonda relaxed me with several layers of creams and eucalyptus-infused hot towels, and then after putting on the handcuffs and sticking cotton pads on my eyes to catch the tears, she flicked on the spotlight, pulled out her gardening trowel and started digging stuff out of my pores. After the torture she soothed me with more lotions and towels and an upper-chest massage, so I didn’t report her obvious blackhead-fetish to the manager.
We spent some time in the steam room which helped drain my completely congested head so I was slightly less miserable. After a little relaxation around the pool (the Relaxation Room would have put me to sleep for hours), we checked into our rooms to read, jump on the beds, drink Lana’s black apricot-infused vodka, and eat junk food until the wine tasting. At the wine tasting we hooked up with the Needham Mommies and had an altercation with the inn’s butler when we started rearranging furniture. After we loaded up on wine and cheese we went to belly-dancing class. The class was actually quite a workout and a lot of fun. Gia took top honors…I’m pretty sure she has one of the little coin-skirts and an instructional video at home. After class we had a couple more hours for junk food and bed gymnastics before dinner.
The spa offers a “silent dinner” (WTF?) but we opted for the standard seating so we could eat, drink, and be merry. Dinner was delicious but again, we were on spa time, so by the time our entrees arrived Gia was sleeping on my shoulder and we had exhausted all of our self-entertainment ideas including plate-balancing and drink-mixing. We had a very patient waitress (Kristen) who supplied us with register tape for Dana and Gia’s bathroom bowling, and honored Lana’s coupon for a free entree. We rolled ourselves up to our rooms and hit the hay. The room Jenny and I shared had one queen-sized bed but the only time she touched me was when I woke up having a choking fit and she gave me a few pats. Unfortunately I kept her up most of the night with my coughing, which I slept through. (Sorry Jenny!)
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On the drive home today we used the old-fashioned method of reading signs to find our way, and we arrived home in no time. I walked in the house and went directly to bed for 4 hours, which is why I’m still awake to post this. It was a great time and I can’t wait to do it again. I can honestly say that I haven’t laughed that much in years. Send me some pics, ladies!
For some reason, this video of Pam doing a bed-roll (which is one of the two videos clean enough to post) cracks me up. I think it’s because of the hysterical laughing.
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Here’s a video of belly dancing class (the darkness adds to the *mystique*):
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