When I started working for MPS Sales in 1994, I worked with Harris, Reyn, and their Dad, Harris Sr. aka Gumpy. Gumpy had tons of one-liners, one of which was, “It’s better than a sharp stick in the eye.” Well, tonight’s events proved that pretty much anything is better than a sharp stick in the eye.
At around 6 p.m. today, Norah jabbed Adlani right in the eye with a pencil. I don’t know what possessed her to do it. It was an unprovoked attack. For the first half hour Adlani wouldn’t open either eye and he cried for most of that time. At 6:30 I called our pediatrician, and coincidentally it was his late night at the office so we ran over so he could take a look. Three of us held Adlani down so his eye could be pried open. The doctor saw “something” on his cornea, so he sent us to Children’s Hospital in Boston since Metrowest didn’t have an ophthalmologist on call.
We arrived at Children’s around 7:30 p.m. and were immediately checked in, weighed, blood pressure and temperature checked, and put into a triage room. That’s when time stood still. After an hour, a nice nurse came in and asked a few questions which had already been asked by the check-in lady. Another hour went by and the doctor came in and asked the same questions. Luckily, she decided not to look at his eye, and to leave that to the ophthalmologist. After ANOTHER hour, the resident ophthalmologist showed up, having been called in from home. After asking the same questions, she moved us to the eye clinic, so I had to carry Adlani’s 45 pounds of bulk to the 4th floor.
I swear, the character of Dr. Christina Yang on Grey’s Anatomy was based on our ophthalmologist – Dr. Grace Chang. She seemed to know what she was doing but her bedside manner could use a little work. She seemed kind of annoyed that she was called in from home for a mere pencil in the eye. She warmed up after a little while but she was a little brusque at first.
At the eye clinic, Adlani transformed into the Incredible Hulk. I had the impossible job of holding him still so Dr. Chang could put in the anesthetic eye drops. He struggled, he kicked, he spit. Snot flew. The three of us ended up covered with bright yellow eye drops. It’s tough to check Adlani’s eyes during his annual physical because he’s more interested in the one-sided glasses than identifying the house (according to Adlani, an “arrow pointing up”), apple (“heart”), circle, or square. Last night he was really upset about the adhesive patch Dr. Chang put over one eye to test the other, so he whined and pulled at that instead of identifying the symbols. Considering that it was around 11 p.m., I guess I can’t blame him.
When Dr. Chang finally found the magic bullet – “Finding Nemo” on the monitor, she got a pretty good look at his eye and said that he had a corneal abrasion. She sent us back down to the E.R. where we waited ANOTHER WHOLE HOUR for a prescription for Bacitracin. We finally got home around 1 AM, and he didn’t even get a cool pirate patch.
UPDATE (Friday at 4:30 PM): Adlani has not willingly opened either of his eyes for almost 24 hours. He stayed in bed until after noon, and when we coaxed him downstairs to watch TV, he sat on the couch with his eyes closed for the entire afternoon. We’ve tried to bribe him with toys, chocolate, and a trip to the park. No dice. Hopefully his self-imposed blindness will end by tomorrow morning.
UPDATE: Aliya announced at dinner tonight, “Adlani is nicer when he’s blind.”
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