I knew the day would come when I would have to be more modest around my kids. It’s not like I lounge around in my birthday suit, but I’m not nearly as vigilant as Ben is about covering up. Well, the day has come.
This morning we were in a big rush to get to the research fair on time, and I hopped in the shower while the kids were brushing their teeth. Adlani looked at me, giggled, pointed, and said in his little sing-song voice, “Where’s your va-GI-na? I can’t SEE it!” I said, “How do you know about vaginas?” He said, “You told Norah that she doesn’t have a penis because girls have vaginas.” Wow. He’s actually listening to me. I’m shocked. In case you’re wondering, the reason I was discussing anatomy with a 2-year-old is because she was obsessed with trying to pee standing up.
As I got into the shower, Aliya chimed in, “Daddy said that they gave you that tattoo while you were in prison, so they could keep track of you.”
How is it possible that I, who can’t remember a damn thing, have 3 kids with memories like elephants? When Aliya was about 4 or 5, Ben told her that I had spent time in jail for hitting him, and that he went to the jail every day to bring me ice cream. Why would he say this? I don’t know, but I guarantee she didn’t keep it to herself. I can just see her out on the playground comparing notes with her friends.
Anyway, time for a bathrobe.
.