A couple of weeks ago, Aliya’s school had their annual research fair. Aliya’s projects were on penguins and walruses. The penguin habitat turned out great, thanks to Auntie Rachael and Vanessa helping with the Sculpey penguins and the iceberg in a plastic shoebox. It pays to have friends and relatives with advanced degrees in art.

We went to the classroom and the kids were so cute…each sitting next to their project and an empty chair, patiently waiting for a parent to come over so they could explain their research. The projects were in Spanish so the kids translated the hard words for me. One little boy, Leif, told me all about how the baby penguins eat the throw-up from the parents. When I said that was gross, he said, “It’s not gross if you’re a baby penguin. They LIKE fish throw-up!” We had to cut the visit short because Norah wouldn’t keep her hands off the projects. The other day, someone I don’t know approached me at the Y and said, “I saw you the other day crossing the street near Barbieri with 3 kids hanging off of you.” That’s the story of my life.

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Last Saturday was the last day of soccer for Aliya and Adlani, and it was also Adlani’s soccer party and a pool party for the Fireballs which we crashed since we are Fireballs alumni.

This is the list I made to get us through the day:

7:45 – Lori to Zumba with water bottle
8:45 – Ben and 3 kids to Adlani’s game with 2 water bottles, uniforms, and balls
9:30 – Lori to Adlani’s game with chair, snacks, and sunscreen
10:45 – Ben and 1 kid home to pee
11:00 – Lori and 2 kids to Adlani’s party with chocolate chip cookies
11:15 – Ben and 1 kid to Aliya’s game with water bottle
11:45 – Lori and 1 kid to Aliya’s game with camera
1:00 – Lori and 2 kids to Adlani’s party
1:00 – Ben to BJ’s for hot dogs and then home
2:00 – Lori and 3 kids home from party – shower and make sangria
2:45 – Ben, Lori, and 3 kids to pool party with sangria, hot dogs, towels & bathing suits
8:00 – Everyone home to bed

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…to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!!!

The other day Aliya and I were neatening up the books in the book swap at preschool and she saw a book she wanted. She also found a Barney book for Norah and I grabbed a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles book for Adlani to avoid World War III. I noticed that it said, “Don’t Do Drugs” on the front, but it’s a kids’ book so how bad could it be?

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The next morning Aliya was reading the books aloud on the way to school. I wasn’t paying attention until I heard Adlani ask, “What’s a pusher?” Aliya said, “I think it’s one of those guys who comes by in a car and says, “Hey, do you want some candy?”

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I was a little surprised that a kids’ book would include the word “pusher”, but I let her keep reading. A couple pages later, the book says, “Some guy calls, ‘Hey kid! Want to make some fast dough? Take this bag to the store and just ask for Joe. Here’s ten bucks now and when you get back, I’ll be waiting with ten more in my Cadillac.’ “

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Aliya: “What’s a Cadeeyak?” (Spanish pronounciation)

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After that it was kind of like a car accident. I couldn’t turn away and I had to hear the whole thing. A few more lines…
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“And something the dealers forget to mention: It’s not much fun to be in juvenile detention.”

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Aliya: “Is that the same as juvie?”
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“But once they’ve trapped you in their net, they’ll squeeze for all that they can get. And once you need their sleazy stuff, no amount of money will be enough! Drugs lead to a life of crime. Want to go to jail and do a little time?”
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“Some kids at the playground say they just smoke pot. But listen buddies, you’d better not. Once potheads want to have a high, there’s lots of poison they might try. You’re not dumb, so don’t take dope. When they pass those joints, be like us. Say ‘Nope!’ “

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Aliya: “What’s a poth-eed?”
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“So let’s have a pizza with extra cheese. No anchovies, if you please. No crack, no smack, no angel dust – Just the turtles and you, and kids we trust!”

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Aliya: “Ugh…look at this. This kid is smoking a cigarrette and the next kid is going to put his mouth on the same cigarrette. They’ll all get each others’ germs.”

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Yes, by all means, stay away from other peoples’ germs.

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It’s that time again…the time of year when I feel like I’m not getting anything done, between the field trips, orientations, end-of-soccer parties, and end-of-school events.

I’ve been trying to hold it together by working every night until the wee hours, but the other day I was driving down the road thinking that I was bound to forget something important that would scar my child for life, like Adlani’s stuffed animal for the teddy bear picnic or Aliya’s penguin habitat for the research fair. Two minutes later my boss called to ask why I wasn’t present at the training we had scheduled to start 9 minutes ago. Oops.

One of last week’s events was a field trip to the Franklin Park Zoo. It was a rainy day but luckily we ended up with only scattered showers and it didn’t bother the kids at all. The bus driver got lost on the way there, but we had a good day and it was nice to spend time with Aliya’s teacher, Sra. Chacon. Aliya has had a great year with her and will miss her a lot. The highlight of the trip was when the mandrill took poop directly from his butt and started examining it intently. I didn’t get a picture because I was too busy trying to make the kids stop screaming in disgusted and amazed hysteria.

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I don’t know how it got started but if you look closely you’ll notice a common thread in each of these cake altercations (Ted). The kids talked about it all the way home from Lana & Larry’s, and it was the first thing Norah mentioned when she woke up this morning. She was very worried that someone would smoosh cake on Daddy.
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Click any photo for a close-up view of orifices full of cake.
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