This morning, Adlani saw me spray a couple of preemptive RR shots into my mouth and he asked me, “Are you going on a date?”
#1 – How does a 5-year-old make the Binaca connection when I have never had Binaca in the house during his lifetime?
#2 – Where would I be going at 6:45 a.m., and with whom??
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I LOVE Whole Foods’ “Whole Body” department. And because I love it so much, I have to stay away. The last time I went in to buy an herbal remedy to ward off a cold, I left $60 poorer. But I so enjoyed my time wandering through the aisles of little bottles full of promises to cure everything that ails me. I bought an aromatherapy inhaler about half the size of my pinky. It smells so great I could just stand around sniffing it all day long. I also bought some natural bug spray for my upcoming trip, some coconut lip balm, the herbal remedy I originally went in for (it worked!), and a few other goodies.
While I was browsing around I noticed the display of Bach Rescue Remedy. I remember buying some when I was pregnant, because I read that midwives gave it to their patients to decrease anxiety during labor. It contains 5 flower essences: Rock Rose for terror and panic, Impatiens for irritation and impatience, Clematis for inattentiveness, Star of Bethlehem for shock, and Cherry Plum for irrational thoughts. That sounds like EXACTLY what I need to get through our morning mayhem.
Does it work? A lot of people swear by it. For me, it’s kind of like the Behavior Modification Device (spray bottle). Spraying bad kids with water makes me smile, which automatically lifts my mood. The Rescue Remedy Spray is 27% alcohol and comes in a little bottle that you spray in your mouth like Binaca. When I take a couple of hits, it’s like shooting a teeny tiny little shot of vodka. Thinking about spraying a mist of vodka into my mouth to calm me down makes me smile, which lifts my mood.
Whatever works!
A bunch of the pictures from our Saturday night celebration of Pam’s birthday were not fit to share in this forum, but here are a few of the clean ones. We had a blast.
I read this and all I could think of when I looked at his pictures was “ick.”
First Legal Male Gigolo
Then I saw this and and I threw up a little in my mouth.
Personal Hygiene Fail
I need to stop surfing before I lose my entire lunch.
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This blog is starting to remind me of the blog I do for work. On that blog I have had a disproportionate number of posts about restroom doors, and on this one I can’t seem to stop writing about crappy mornings. Maybe I should change the name of my blog to “EveryDayIWannaRunAway.blogspot.com” or “WhatAmIDoingWrong.wordpress.com.”
On Friday mornings, Aliya and Adlani go to Chess Club, which starts at 8:00. This morning we had a date with Auntie Monica so she could learn the morning drop-off routine since she’ll be helping out with that while I’m in Costa Rica.
Last night, Aliya asked me to make her Spaghettios for lunch today. I don’t like making any more lunches than I absolutely have to, because each one requires 5-10 minutes that I just don’t have, especially on Chess Club day. BUT…I agreed because that’s the kind of mommy I am. The deal was that Aliya would pack the rest of the lunch and I would make the Spaghettios.
I had most of the lunch items out on the counter last night and ready to be packed this morning. I got everyone up early and there were no arguments about what anyone was going to wear. Aliya finished getting dressed first so I told her to go downstairs, pack her lunch and snack, and start eating breakfast.
When I got downstairs 15 minutes later, I found Aliya sitting at the table with no food, no lunch or snack packed – reading a book. I remember getting in trouble for reading too much when I was in 2nd grade and I’ve been hoping that she’d catch the reading bug, but NOT this morning.
So I calmly told her that I wouldn’t have time to pack her lunch and that she’d have to eat the school lunch, which, by the way, she has eaten 99% of the days since she started kindergarten.
That’s when the tsunami began. She cried, she screamed, she tried to block my path (yeah, right), she pushed me (not a good idea), she hit things, she kicked things, she yelled at the other kids. She even said that she would eat Norah’s leftover Spaghettios from yesterday which were sitting in the thermos overnight. The storm lasted for the entire time that I was making lunches and snacks and everyone else was eating breakfast – Aliya didn’t eat anything.
When I told her that she had lost the privilege of going to Petco tonight to buy the fish for her new tank, Adlani immediately piped up, “Can I have her fish??” I laughed and that didn’t go over well. I know that if Ben was home he would have given in to avoid listening to the screeching, but I don’t respond well to someone screaming, “MAKE ME SPAGHETTIOS! NOW!” in my face.
When it was time to get in the car, Aliya refused to leave the house. I buckled the other kids and had to go back inside, pull Aliya out by the arm, then go back and lock the door. Like I have time for that crap! What am I doing wrong?? I plan ahead, give clear directions, delegate responsibility, stand firm on my decisions, punish swiftly, bribe with abandon…I give up!!
And poor Norah went to school with Witch Hair again but this time it wasn’t her fault. I felt a little bad about that but I got over it.
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