Some days things just don’t go according to plan and you have to be able to roll with the punches.  Today was one of those days.  I had the day all planned out but in the end we didn’t do half the things we were supposed to do.  One thing I DID manage to accomplish was the manicure and pedicure that the Tooth Fairy has owed Aliya since she had 6 teeth pulled out.  I promised her that she’d have lovely hands and feet for the first day of school and gall dang it – I was determined to deliver.

The problem arose when Aliya realized that she would have to change the shoes she had planned to wear with her first-day outfit, so her pedicure would show.  The shoe-change required 1) a change from pants to a skirt, and 2) shoes which showed her toes but were not flip-flops since those aren’t allowed in school.

I have asked Aliya at least 5 times if she needs any back-to-school clothes, shoes, or supplies.  After the mani/pedi, when the bus was due to arrive in 15 hours and 33 minutes, she tells me that she needs sandals.  Where the hell was I supposed to find kid-sized non-flip-flop sandals on the day before school starts?!?!

Before I continue, I’d like to draw your attention to the photo of me on the right, and particularly to my shoes.  In this photo I was 10 years old, and this was a big day – my little brother’s christening.  I know for sure that was a new dress, and I’m guessing I was wearing new shoes.  Look how fancy they are – they added at least an inch to my height.  I was STYLIN! I had a purse, a bracelet, and had obviously spent HOURS working on my Kristy McNichol hair-do (ok…I didn’t actually achieve it, but I tried).  And those were the shoes I chose to accompany this *look*.

In contrast, THESE are the shoes Aliya chose for her first day of third grade.  I seriously think she would have tried harder to convince me if they were available in her size.  I can just imagine the look on Ben’s face, not to mention Nurse Mary’s.  I guarantee this would lead to a new school policy – “no flip-flops OR STILLETTOS!“

On the bright side, Aliya somehow went from a youth size 2 to a women’s size 5 over the summer.  We found her a pair of questionable flip-flop/sandals for $7 at Marshalls, along with various clearance-rack shoes to fit every outfit and weather condition at DSW.  It really does expand the options…maybe a little too far.

Here’s the end result.  All is right in Aliya’s world.

I just took Norah to see Nanny McPhee Returns, because she missed going with friends the other day when the allergic reaction appeared.  I really think Nanny McPhee III should come help ME out in her next movie.  I actually got a little misty when the mom in the movie, who coincidentally was named Mrs. Green, was standing on the couch screaming “GET OFF THE FURNITURE!!!!!!!!” and again when she was running after Nanny McPhee like a desperate bride-to-be running into the Filene’s Basement bridal gown sale.  If a character in a movie almost weeps in gratitude at the thought of having a few minutes to herself, I can’t be the only real-life mom feeling that way.

Honestly, I don’t think my desires are outrageous, but they’re so far from becoming a reality that I might as well wish for world peace and a personal video message from the Old Spice Man:

• I want to ride in the car without anyone touching anyone, almost touching anyone, whining, fighting, or committing any offense that requires me to use the B.M.D.
• I want to sit in the dining room without a giant stack of paper threatening to topple over on my plate.
• I want to get through one meal without having to tell anyone to sit down, get back in their seat, eat their food, or stop putting chewed-up food on someone else’s plate.
• I want people to see clean laundry, dirty dishes, or personal items piled on the stairs and realize that they should pitch in and do something about it.
• I want to get a full day’s work done without working until 2 a.m.
• I want everyone to be in bed, ASLEEP, by 8:30 p.m. (except me).
  
• I want to have time for a hobby.
• I want to sit down with a glass of wine and bask in the scent of Lavender Fabuloso, with all of the house clean at the same time.
• I want to cross something off of my to-do list and not have it be immediately replaced with 5 other things.
• I want to sleep alone for 6 straight hours.
• I want to shower alone without hearing any loud crashes or being asked to mediate through the door.
  
• I want to poop alone without having to go to a nearby retail establishment solely for that purpose.
• I want my house to look like this a little less often: