Monster Camping

It’s official.  I am a sucker for a kid who begs me to do something, especially if I’m feeling guilty for working too much, skipping the bed-time story to go to Zumba, or any of the many other sources of guilt I experience.  When Aliya’s Girl Scout troop announced that they were going “Monster Camping,” which involved 2 nights in the wilds of New Hampshire, she BEGGED me to go.  I’m not sure why, but I figure I don’t have too many years left of having her ask me to accompany her somewhere.  Now that my fingers have finally thawed and I’m able to type again, I can describe my camping experience in case any of you are considering volunteering as a chaperone.  My advice is 1) check the weather before you go, 2) pack extra stuff because someone will arrive severely under-dressed, and 3) bring a flask.

The camp was a little over an hour’s drive away and the ride was uneventful.  I only had 2 girls in my car so I didn’t have to resort to singing “99 Bottles of a Politically Correct Beverage on the Wall.”  We were met by an almost-full-grown Girl Scout and shown to our accommodations – 3 tentaloos about 5 miles from the parking lot.  Ok – it was probably a quarter of a mile but it felt a lot longer since we were hauling 3 days worth of food, and necessities like extra pillows, magazines, 2 souvenir pencil sharpeners, an entire bag devoted to first aid remedies, and a recorder.  Yes, the kind you charm snakes with.

A tentaloo has a wood plank floor, a roof, and canvas sides.  The canvas cuts down on some of the wind but it doesn’t do much to help keep the body heat contained.  We got everything settled on our cots and worked on dinner – hot dogs and mac and cheese.  After 22 trips to the car I would have eaten just about anything, so dinner was delicious.  After dinner we headed down to the dining hall for s’mores and Girl Scout songs.  I was never a Girl Scout so I had to move my mouth and pretend to participate, but Elizabeth pulled  a couple out of the memory vault for a private concert in our tentaloo.

What followed the s’mores was a quick walk back to the tentaloo with a stop at the bathroom, where there were 82 girls brushing their teeth and changing in the privacy of the stalls.  Seriously people, you’re all approximately 10 years old.  Nobody is looking at your private area.  Well, they probably are but I have to pee so GET OUT!

Back at the tentaloo I got into my sleeping bag fully dressed (yes, I know, I could have gotten a tick), cinched the mummy bag around my face, and pulled another sleeping bag over me.  At some point during everyone else’s bedtime ritual, my second sleeping bag fell out of the side of the tentaloo and down into the ravine full of brush, which was when we recognized one of the dangers of sleeping in a tentaloo.

I don’t think I have been that cold since I was a little kid waiting at the bus stop in the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont.  The first night it got down to 31 degrees and it was pretty windy.  The second night seemed positively balmy at 33 degrees with less wind.  I fell asleep obsessing about what I would do if I woke up during the night and had to pee, and dreamed about bedpans, tubes, and space-shuttle diapers all night.

The next day the girls had scheduled activities including canoeing, candle-making, scrapbooking, games, and archery.  The archery was quite popular and I’m pretty sure they were all fancying themselves the next Katniss Everdeen.  (Aliya and Hannah immediately started saving for an archery set.  Their plan was to entertain Chloe so she would pay them with gift cards which they would then sell for cash.)  While the girls were busy I ran out for a Box-O-Joe and then the moms sat around all day doing nothing but shooting the sh*t.  We did walk around to each of the activities to take some photos, the troop had a picnic in a meadow, and the moms took quick showers after it warmed up a bit, but that’s about it.  I can’t remember the last time I sat around all day.  It was really nice!

We had tacos and quesadillas for dinner, with more s’mores for dessert.  There were evening activities for the girls and then we all bundled up for another night of trying to avoid frostbite.  The next morning we made breakfast and headed home – our troop was the last to leave, after we tore the girls away from the fairy village they had created.  I think the weekend was a success – nobody got hurt (thank goodness because I was the first aid/CPR person), we battled through a couple of homesickness flare-ups, we didn’t get attacked by any rabid skunks, and we didn’t lose anybody.

Norah already has me lined up to go to GS camp with her someday, but at least I know what to expect and how to prepare.  I’ve just got to work on the camper songs and get one of those cool multi-tools with a spork on it.

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