The BFB

I should have thought of this guest blogger idea a long time ago.  Today’s perspective is offered by Lana…

BFB2We are currently pulled over at a gas station because the bus had a projectile bodily fluid episode and needed to be evacuated. The Mamahonkie van became the refuge for the bus passengers, including Adlani, who was barefoot since his shoes needed a “silkwood shower”.   I did not dare leave my seat in the third row of the Mamahonkie van for fear that I would lose my seat and be forced to ride the remaining hour to Chefchaouen in the BFB. Bodily Fluid Bus.

Foreign correspondent Nicholas Jobin provided a very animated play by play of how the vomit episode went down. It sounds like that in order to get children to move quickly, one only has to vomit. I may have to search for a vomit app and play it when I need my kids to leave my airspace.

There are 14 passengers on the BFB.  One is a puker.  One has a nosebleed and three are menstruating.   We are currently experiencing a North African Pad-Pon Emergency. Nobody has enough lady products with them. I think my daughter shoplifted a roll of paper towels from the Moroccan-mini-mart and is clenching it with her thighs under the maxi skirt.

I’m afraid to get near the BFB because I am peri-menopausal and have not evacuated for 6 months.  Those menstrual hormones are contagious and I’m afraid a crime scene may happen in my pants.

BFB1I plan on becoming a Moroccan millionaire by building roadside Pad-Pon lady product carts. Lori can put her seedless watermelon and chocolate chip cookie cart next to mine. 

Our van ride has been very educational.  We have passed many almond, olive and eucalyptus plants.  Andi is enjoying the fragrant marijuana burning in the fields. Lines on the road are used as a suggestion and do not necessarily mean you should stay on your side of the road.  I doubt they use blinkers here. 

I’m typing this in the back of the Mamahonkie van.  I’ll stop now so we do not become BFB#2. Lana out.

 

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8 comments

  1. Lesley R says:

    Love to you all!!! I’m torn about how much I wish I was on this trip with you and then again, not so much – I can do without experiencing the BFB thank you very much.

    Enjoy peeps!

    Lele

  2. Sherry libby says:

    Lana, that was awesome! Vivid, but awesome.

  3. Leslie Fraser says:

    Wow – laugh-out-loud funny. (Easy for me to say lounging in the comfort of my back deck with running water and AC at my disposal…) Thx for sharing. I’ll buy stock in the roadside lady product biz when it’s up and running!

  4. Gayle says:

    Ok, very vivid picture. It had to happen sooner or later, you guys have been on a dead run since you landed. Hope everyone is well & keep the news coming. Can’t wait to pull up the website daily!

  5. Sara Hamerla says:

    Bodily Fluid Bus sounds a lot like Barbieri bus route #3. Do you have rules for electronics on this trip? Really Love the posts! Thanks for brightening my day!

  6. Ha ..ha..laughing extra this evening. We were at Scores with some friends, and finished off some rum runners!! Your travel blog was hilarious!! Not so sure I could make it on the projectile vomit bus. Had my share of that the last 15 years teaching pre teens and experiencing many yearly field trips!! Isn’t Nicholas a hoot??? He is definitely the “reporter” type with graphic details etc……I would love to be his teacher this Fall. NIcholas has some wonderful details of his summer vacation….Watch out, Teach!!!
    I am with Andie….enjoy the environment plusses!! Have fun!!!!

  7. Kylon Colinet says:

    LMAO!
    I think I sprinkled from laughing so hard

  8. Dwifty says:

    Absolutely hysterical.