The short story below reminds me of an incident from high school. My two friends and I were tooling around town in my 1973 Volkswagon Super Beetle and we had to pee. We knew that if we went home our moms would make us call it a night, so we pulled into the parking lot of the local recreation area / lake to relieve ourselves. While my friends were in the full-squat position the police car that had stealthily followed us into the parking lot snapped on their lights. The reflection from the double-moons must have almosted blinded the poor officers. As we madly drove away I heard the cop yell, “HEY!!! GET BACK HERE AND PICK UP THIS TOILET PAPER!!!” I think they were actually napkins from the drive-thru…he obviously wasn’t a detective. To top it all off, my boyfriend asked me the next day if I was peeing at Lake Paron because his mother heard it on the scanner! That’s what living in a small town is all about. Lucky for our kids the scanners tuned to the Framingham Police force are filled with chatter about hold-ups at Burger King and Ty’s Pies.
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It’s too bad the P-Mate hadn’t been invented yet. It would have been helpful for us and for the ladies in the story.
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Two lady friends had gone for a girl’s night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten overenthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped at a cemetery.
One of them had nothing to wipe with, so she took off her panties and used them. Her friend, however, was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. Fortunately, she was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she decided to wipe with that. After the girls did their business they proceeded home.
The next morning one of the husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, “These girls’ nights outs have got to stop! I’m starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!”
“You think that’s bad?” said the other husband, “Mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that said, ‘From all of us at the Fire Station. We’ll never forget you.’ “
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