This blog is starting to remind me of the blog I do for work. On that blog I have had a disproportionate number of posts about restroom doors, and on this one I can’t seem to stop writing about crappy mornings. Maybe I should change the name of my blog to “EveryDayIWannaRunAway.blogspot.com” or “WhatAmIDoingWrong.wordpress.com.”

On Friday mornings, Aliya and Adlani go to Chess Club, which starts at 8:00. This morning we had a date with Auntie Monica so she could learn the morning drop-off routine since she’ll be helping out with that while I’m in Costa Rica.

Last night, Aliya asked me to make her Spaghettios for lunch today. I don’t like making any more lunches than I absolutely have to, because each one requires 5-10 minutes that I just don’t have, especially on Chess Club day. BUT…I agreed because that’s the kind of mommy I am. The deal was that Aliya would pack the rest of the lunch and I would make the Spaghettios.

I had most of the lunch items out on the counter last night and ready to be packed this morning. I got everyone up early and there were no arguments about what anyone was going to wear. Aliya finished getting dressed first so I told her to go downstairs, pack her lunch and snack, and start eating breakfast.

When I got downstairs 15 minutes later, I found Aliya sitting at the table with no food, no lunch or snack packed – reading a book. I remember getting in trouble for reading too much when I was in 2nd grade and I’ve been hoping that she’d catch the reading bug, but NOT this morning.

So I calmly told her that I wouldn’t have time to pack her lunch and that she’d have to eat the school lunch, which, by the way, she has eaten 99% of the days since she started kindergarten.

That’s when the tsunami began. She cried, she screamed, she tried to block my path (yeah, right), she pushed me (not a good idea), she hit things, she kicked things, she yelled at the other kids. She even said that she would eat Norah’s leftover Spaghettios from yesterday which were sitting in the thermos overnight.  The storm lasted for the entire time that I was making lunches and snacks and everyone else was eating breakfast – Aliya didn’t eat anything.

When I told her that she had lost the privilege of going to Petco tonight to buy the fish for her new tank, Adlani immediately piped up, “Can I have her fish??” I laughed and that didn’t go over well. I know that if Ben was home he would have given in to avoid listening to the screeching, but I don’t respond well to someone screaming, “MAKE ME SPAGHETTIOS! NOW!” in my face.

When it was time to get in the car, Aliya refused to leave the house. I buckled the other kids and had to go back inside, pull Aliya out by the arm, then go back and lock the door. Like I have time for that crap!  What am I doing wrong??  I plan ahead, give clear directions, delegate responsibility, stand firm on my decisions, punish swiftly, bribe with abandon…I give up!!

And poor Norah went to school with Witch Hair again but this time it wasn’t her fault.  I felt a little bad about that but I got over it.
.

I usually try to avoid off-color posts or disguise them so that the Little Pitchers don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, but this joke cracked me up. I’ve changed the punchline slightly in a lame attempt at confusing the underage.

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology which explained the phenomenon of “mixed emotions.” The husband turned to his wife and said, “Honey, that’s a bunch of crap. I bet you can’t tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time.”

She said: “Out of all your friends, you are the most well-endowed.“

aaaHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! aaaHAHAHAHA!!!
(That was Lana’s laugh.)

Thanks Julie!

Yesterday was a rough morning.  Nothing unusual, just another case of three kids not doing what they were supposed to be doing until we were so late that we missed drop-off time at preschool, and because of that, we missed the bus.  Not a surprise.

I walked into Norah’s school, already knowing that we would miss the bus and I’d have to drive Aliya and Adlani to their school and then WAIT until it was time for the kids to go inside.  I hate waiting!!!

When I saw Norah’s teacher I said, “Her hair is a barometer of my mood.  When she has Princess Hair, things are going well and I even had time to make her look presentable.  When she has Witch Hair, things aren’t going so well.”

Not a shock, yesterday she had Witch Hair.  I’m sure the teacher was thinking that her little 3-month-old princess would NEVER be going to school with Witch Hair.  I used to think that way, but I’ve let quite a few things slide.  In fact, I can’t remember the last time Norah went to school with Princess Hair.

The unexpected benefit is that Norah has an overwhelming desire for all things Princess, so I can now threaten her with Witch Hair and actually get some results. 

——————————————————
Here it is…the dreaded Witch Hair:

And on a lighter note…I saw a post today about weird internet stores and I just had to post the links here in case someday I need to buy some handerpants (underwear-gloves), ice cube trays that make shot glasses which you can then fill with the beverage of your choice, or bacon-flavored breath mints.  Maybe I should expand my blog and add a shopping section.

Remember how it was when we were teenagers, and in order to buy something you had to find a store that carried it and then GO there?  And if you wanted to learn the words to a song you had to wait for it to come on the radio, press record on your cassette player and then play it again and again while you wrote the words down one line at a time?  And when you wanted to talk to your friend you had to use the telephone (We had a party line so we had to wait until the neighbors were done talking!)?  And you had to talk in the closet because that’s as far as the cord would reach?  And you could call the boy you were secretly in love with and hang up without him knowing it was you?  Yeah…those were the days.

Anyway, here are those links:

Fred and Friends

Archie McPhee

Great Big Stuff
.

I’ve mentioned before that I believe in *signs*, spirits, after death communications, whatever words you want to use to describe the connection with people who have died. It’s not like I’m a ghost-hunter or I gather the kids around for Friday night seances (Hey! Maybe I’ll dig out my Ouija board for Aliya’s next sleepover!), but I do believe in some sort of “life after death.”

This morning on the way to school Aliya was asking a lot of questions about ghosts. She had seen a TV show about kids who tried to investigate hauntings, etc. I told her that the day Bernie died, I was laying on the bed in the hotel room, feeling numb with shock and grief, not really asleep but not fully awake either, and I felt him squeeze my knee and heard him say, “Love ya, kid.” It was SO real. Seriously.

So this morning when I was talking about it in the car, I started to cry a little. Then the most freaky thing happened. I turned the next corner, and in the sky right in front of us, beginning in the middle of the windshield and extending straight down was a piece of a rainbow. A rainbow? In the winter? When it hadn’t rained or snowed?  Really?

I don’t know about you but I don’t see rainbows very often. They are one of the magical things that you can’t just buy or conjure up at will. To see one in that context really made me wonder (again) if Bernie was sending his love.

Hello From Heaven
After Death Communication Research Foundation