For my entire career I’ve had a hard time explaining to people what I do for work.  It was especially tough when I was single, and I always longed for an instantly-recognizable job like nurse, teacher, or plumber, but I settled on the lines, “I sell doors,” or “I sell locks,” way back then.  If I tried to explain beyond that, eyes would glaze over and the chances of a second date were not good.

When I started dating Ben, I heard him on the phone telling his friend that I was a software engineer.  When I met my friend Karen I told her that I was a hardware consultant, and she said, “Really?!  I work for IBM!”  When Aliya was in preschool, she told her class that she wanted to be a “hard work insultant” when she grew up, like her mom.  I’m not even sure my mother knows what I do for a living, but I haven’t asked if I can move back in with her, so she’s ok with whatever I’m doing to pay the mortgage.

Since I started my other blog (here it is), more of my friends and family are starting to understand what I do.  And at this point in my life, I don’t have as great a need for people to understand the specifics anyway.  If I really don’t feel like explaining it and I know I’ll never see the person again, I might even make something up.  If a potential customer (architect, facility manager, hardware supplier, or security consultant) asks me what I do, I just have to say that I’m a door hardware consultant and they get it.  Easy.

Anyway, since I’m asked about my job less often, and care less whether people understand, today’s conversation with my favorite Egyptian bagel-guy caught me by surprise:

🙂

SPRINGFIELD, Mass. — When two Connecticut-bound cows escaped onto a busy Massachusetts highway, a cowboy stuck in the traffic jam came to the rescue. State police say the man, wearing a Western hat and boots, lassoed each of the 500-pound heifers who were wandering on Interstate 91 South in Springfield Tuesday morning.

Troopers shut down the highway for about 30 minutes as the man helped load the animals back into the trailer that was carrying them to nearby Enfield, Conn.

The cows had escaped into slow-moving traffic near Exit 8 after a latch opened on the trailer.

Police say the cowboy did not want to be publicly identified.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gLMfWAzv0Fs-xKEa2NXVovMe7tUgD9CAQ0Q82
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I LOVE THIS:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEdVfyt-mLw&hl=en_US&fs=1&]

Here’s more about it: http://abcnews.go.com/WN/pink-glove-dance-youtube-video-spreads-breast-cancer/story?id=9210224

No, I’m not proud of it, but yes, those words came out of my mouth this morning as I waited to leave the driveway for the 6 minutes it took the kids to buckle their seatbelts (while simultaneously screaming, whining, kicking, pinching, and smacking each other).

Six minutes doesn’t seem like much time.  I have p*issed away thousands of 6-minute blocks in my lifetime.

But in my current life, 6 minutes can mean that I miss the drop-off line at preschool, have to park the car and drag 3 kids inside, sign in, and get them to the absolute farthest corner of the building without knocking down any preschoolers, help Norah get unpacked, get through the long goodbye, get the other two back out to the car using our walking feet, without falling down the stairs or stopping at the bathroom.

By the time we navigate through the minefield of all the friends and teachers, get back out to the car, and get 2 kids buckled again, we have usually missed the bus.  Which means that our next stop is Aliya and Adlani’s school, where we SIT AND WAIT until the proper drop-off time.  I hate waiting.  When the buses start unloading, Aliya and Adlani run off and if I haven’t volunteered for a PTO-related project during my wait, I am now free to go to work.

Some days I work at home, in which case arriving home from school at 9:15 instead of home from the bus stop at 8:35 is not the end of the world, although it is a pretty big block of time to blow.  Other days I’m headed for my office in Needham so I inch my way down 135 to arrive around 9:45 (“So glad you could make it.”).  On less flexible days I have an appointment at a fancy place like Harvard, or the Museum of Fine Arts, so I start my journey to Boston/Cambridge 25 minutes late and from 15 minutes further away.

Today, I just had the flu.  No place to be but my bed.  But for some reason the flu has made me even less capable of handling life’s little delays with any level of patience.  “I WANNA GO BACK TO BED, DAMMIT, SO BUCKLE THE HELL UP!!!”
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This is a clip straight out of my life (Thanks Johnny!):

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNkp4QF3we8&hl=en_US&fs=1&]

But it jives perfectly with the topic(s) of this post. I woke up this morning feeling much better but I think I may have overestimated my level of recovery. As good as it felt to be up and outside in the fresh air, I felt a little woozy, and ended up taking a long nap this afternoon. I woke up with my throat on fire again and feeling a little flushed. What’s my temp? I wish I knew.

I am a HUGE fan of order. I REALLY like to know where certain things are. I used to know where each and every thing I owned was (no lie), but I had to loosen my grip when Ben entered my life. As each kid came along it got looser until now I’m pretty happy if I know the location of my keys, wallet, computer, camera, phone, daily prescription medication (no, it’s not Prozac), toothbrush, my personal multi-tool set (inscribed, “Seriously, Do Not Touch.”) and the thermometer. Everything else I can pretty much work around, but I need to know where those things are. It’s scary how often those items go missing and how much time I spend looking for them.

Predictably, now that I feel flushed and Norah’s cheeks are pink and she’s complaining of being cold, the thermometer is gone. We’ve looked everywhere and Ben is headed to Target to buy a new one and stock up on Children’s Motrin. I hate re-buying something I already own!!! Whatever. I’m over it.  That’s a tip though…Motrin helps a lot with the flu symptoms. 

So on to the other topic of this post – Hulu.com. I heard about it a while back but I have been so overloaded with STUFF TO DO that I have not watched ANY TV for months. NONE. Now that I’m beyond the worst part of the flu but still prone to spending hours in bed, Johnny’s clip reminded me to go check it out. I’ve been catching up on all of my favorite shows and I now realize how much I missed my old friends from Seattle Grace and Wisteria Lane.

And today I found a new ABC show on Hulu that’s right up my alley since I like to sob through entire TV shows – Find My Family.  You can watch the first episode here (get the tissues):  http://www.hulu.com/find-my-family.  I think the “family tree” on the majestic hillside is a little hokey, but I’m a sucker for reunions so I can look past the tree.      

If you haven’t had enough swine flu information yet, here’s a personal account that’s very accurate:  http://hubpages.com/hub/H1N1-Swine-Flu—a-personal-account.