Aliya: I made up a joke today.
Me: Let’s hear it.
Aliya: What’s the difference between a guitar and a jellyfish?
Me: What?
Aliya: Guitars don’t make jelly.
Me: I’m pretty sure jellyfish don’t make jelly either.
Aliya: Really? I thought they did!
Me: Where did you hear that?
Aliya: I saw it on Sponge Bob!

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Adlani: I don’t want to sleep by myself!! Waaaaaaahhhhh!
Me: Why not? You’re a big boy!
Adlani: No, I’m a little boy!
Me: Well, little boys don’t get to go to birthday parties.
Adlani: I’m going to be a big boy.
Me: When?
Adlani: Tomorrow!
Me: Why don’t you want to sleep by yourself?
Adlani: I’m going to have a night-bear.
Me: No you’re not.
Adlani: I’m really scared!
Me: What are you scared of?
Adlani: The monsters in my imagination.
Me: Where did you hear about that?
Adlani: I saw it on Sponge Bob!

NO MORE SPONGE BOB!!!

This is an amazing marketing concept. I wish I’d thought of it. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick and tired of telling Aliya and Adlani to clean up their rooms. Believe it or not, thanks to the House Fairy, I only have to occasionally remind them that they should clean up their rooms in case the House Fairy chooses today to come for an inspection. They love to watch the videos on her web-site, and the day she did stop by was just about as exciting as a visit from Santa. The lollipops she left as a reward were enough to keep them in the habit of picking up EVERY DAY!! And all for $10 for 2 years of access to the site. Check it out!!

Two weeks ago it was 5 degrees, last week it was 60 degrees, we got 8″ of snow on Monday and today it rained like hell and washed most of the snow away. I miss the good old days when you could enjoy an unseasonably warm spell and January thaw. Last year someone mentioned the warm winter weather and I said, “Yes, we’ve been really lucky this winter.” She replied, “Well…I wouldn’t call global warming ‘lucky’.” What a buzz-kill.

I can always count on my coworker and friend Michele to keep me in the loop on all of the important email updates. She sent me a great video today…

The other morning while I was taking my weekly 3-minute shower, Adlani broke Rule #47 and stood outside the door screaming that Norah had eaten Thomas’ face off. Sadly, I knew exactly what he was talking about. This is what my life has come to. I jumped out of the shower and after determining that Norah wasn’t blue, I started questioning her about Thomas’ face.

Me: “Where did you put Thomas’ face?”
Norah: Points to her mouth and smiles.
Me: “Where is Thomas now?”
Norah: Points to her tummy and smiles some more.

Meanwhile, Adlani brings me the Thomas with the missing face, which is when I realized that it wasn’t just his face, it was his whole head. It’s a decent-sized hunk of metal with 2 prongs. It seemed very unlikely that Norah would have eaten it, and it brought back memories of going into a panic when I asked 18-month-old Aliya where her barrette was and she pointed to her mouth. I later found it in her hood. So after looking around for the missing head and checking the web to see if that particular Thomas had the lead paint problem, I packed everyone into the car for the morning drop-offs. I told Norah’s day care provider (Lina) to be on the lookout for the head, but when I showed her the remaining piece of Thomas she said, “There’s no way she swallowed that.” Based on her years of experience added to my own feelings of doubt, I felt a lot better. I just hope that 30 years from now when Norah has her first ultrasound (or whatever obstetric technology they have by then), they don’t see Thomas’ face looking out from the monitor.