Hello, my name is Lori and I’m a bagaholic. I love bags.
Tonight while I was hiding out at BJ’s waiting for the kids to fall asleep at home, I decided to replace my wallet. I really did need one since the coin purse part of my old one disintegrated. I went over to DSW (warehouse shoe store in case you’re not from around here) because they have a ton of wallets and the prices are pretty inexpensive. While I was there I took a stroll through the football-field of shoes. Nothing caught my eye but I could hear the bags calling out to me, “Lori…we’re over here…it can’t hurt to look…you can walk away whenever you want to…”
There were about 200 of the giant, shiny, gaudy bags that I hate, but I made a beeline for the dark pink suede hobo bag behind all the others. Originally $168, it was on clearance for a mere $66. As you have probably figured out, with me it’s not about the brand or what’s “in”. Recently someone asked if I grew up in Framingham and I said, “No, I’m from Vermont,” and he said, “That explains a lot.” I’m still not sure what that means but I’m way more Birkenstocks and tie-dye than Jimmy Choos and gold lamé.
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My fixation with bags has to do with the fresh start that they represent. Getting a new bag means that you can take just what you need from the old one and start again. I get so tired of having my bag full of loose Cheerios, craft projects, and everyone else’s crap. It was one thing when I was carrying around a diaper bag as my purse…at least I was the only one putting things into it. One day in the Cracker Barrel bathroom I literally cried when one of the kids went to my purse hanging on the back of the stall door and dumped in one of those little boxes of Froot Loops. Actual tears. “The Ugly Cry”, as Oprah says.
I was so excited about tonight’s fresh start that I moved all the important stuff to my new bag in the Shoppers World parking lot (still hiding). This is what I need in my bag:
A) wallet
B) Blackberry (brain)
C) camera
D) small spiral notebook & pen (backup brain)
E) sunglasses
F) keys
G) a very small make-up bag
H) photo wallet of the kids pics (all at least a year old but they haven’t changed THAT much)
I also need room for a book (for me) and a well-sealed snack and drink (for someone else). That’s it.
Last night (pre-new bag) I was talking to my friend, Cristina, who was saying that she can’t wait until she doesn’t have to carry a diaper bag around any more. I said that even when you get rid of the diaper bag you never really get control of your bag back. “I’m always carrying around a ton of random shit in here,” and I reached into my bag and pulled out the first thing I found – a plastic baggie holding the molds of the teeth on the right side of my jaw, plus my temporary crown in a little plastic box. The dentist gave it to me to put in a safe place, just in case we need to make another crown.
I currently have 4 old bags that still contain the stuff I left behind when I transitioned to each new bag. Here are some of the leave-behinds:
..an A/V cable, the DVD remote, and the power cord to our Coleman lantern
..a video wallet full of movies
..a pair of Norah’s socks (clean)
..1 of Ben’s socks (dirty)
..Singers Saving Grace soothing throat spray (karaoke, anyone?)
..1 diamond earring (the other one is still missing)
..2 sample jars of Benjamin Moore paint
..my number from jury duty on 7/30/2008
..a 1-inch-thick stack of unused napkins
..Norah’s hospital discharge papers (nursemaid’s elbow incident)
..an IKEA catalog and an IKEA gift card worth $42.25
..a Sponge Bob watch and a Hello Kitty watch
..a 25′ tape measure
..2 packages of pulverized oyster crackers
..a broken coin purse BELT (I used to wear it in the 80’s and Aliya found it)
..Pink Eye Remedy, Infant Tylenol, and 2 tubes of antibiotic ointment
..my flying/public speaking medication that expired in ’06
..4 size-5 diapers (Norah has been out of diapers for almost a year)
..countless receipts, coloring pages, notes, lists, pens and cough drops
..$7.67 in coins and $63 in small bills
..one of my favorites – a jar of Mini Noise Putty that you stick your thumb into to make a farting sound – which dates this archeological dig to Reece’s birthday party at Honeypot Hill
Now what the heck am I going to do with this pile of crap on the dining room table?
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For Aliya’s birthday party last year, she asked her friends to donate money toward a water buffalo instead of bringing gifts. Luckily she wasn’t planning on buying one for a family pet, it was a donation for Heifer International, a really great charity that gives farm animals to families living in poverty. It’s pretty amazing what one animal can do for a family.
