Caution – Va-JJ Reference

I knew the day would come when I would have to be more modest around my kids. It’s not like I lounge around in my birthday suit, but I’m not nearly as vigilant as Ben is about covering up. Well, the day has come.

This morning we were in a big rush to get to the research fair on time, and I hopped in the shower while the kids were brushing their teeth. Adlani looked at me, giggled, pointed, and said in his little sing-song voice, “Where’s your va-GI-na? I can’t SEE it!” I said, “How do you know about vaginas?” He said, “You told Norah that she doesn’t have a penis because girls have vaginas.” Wow. He’s actually listening to me. I’m shocked. In case you’re wondering, the reason I was discussing anatomy with a 2-year-old is because she was obsessed with trying to pee standing up.

As I got into the shower, Aliya chimed in, “Daddy said that they gave you that tattoo while you were in prison, so they could keep track of you.”

How is it possible that I, who can’t remember a damn thing, have 3 kids with memories like elephants? When Aliya was about 4 or 5, Ben told her that I had spent time in jail for hitting him, and that he went to the jail every day to bring me ice cream. Why would he say this? I don’t know, but I guarantee she didn’t keep it to herself. I can just see her out on the playground comparing notes with her friends.

Anyway, time for a bathrobe.
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Hail!

Storms are different out at camp. There aren’t as many buildings to absorb the sound of thunder, and there’s the lake and the surrounding ledges to magnify it. There was a fast and furious storm when were were there for Memorial Day. I don’t mind the storms and Ben really likes them, but Norah was scared and Annie hid under the bed. At one point it became a hail storm which was kind of cool since we were all safe inside.

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Sing-Along

Last Friday was the annual sing-along at Adlani’s school. The kids have been practicing for weeks, and they sang songs in English, Spanish, and Portuguese! It was a gorgeous day and we had a picnic afterward.
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Adlani has been having second thoughts about kindergarten…he told me that he doesn’t want to leave the “love and joy” of preschool. I’m so glad Norah can go there next year. She’ll be in Maria’s class which is Spanish immersion, so she should be fluent by the time she gets to kindergarten. I don’t know what they’re going to do with her at that point since she won’t really fit into either of the two typical categories – Spanish speakers who may not have had a lot of preschool, and English speakers who may have had preschool but don’t speak Spanish. The principal told me that it’s a good problem to have, so I’ll leave it to them to figure that out.
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Green Thumbs

When we left for camp last Friday some of our seeds were starting to sprout, so I took the plastic covers off the trays in case they grew more than the 2 inches the cover would allow. This is what we came home to on Monday! I think if I had left the covers on the beans would have just lifted them up or pushed them right off!

The kids are psyched and maybe they’ll actually eat a vegetable if they can pick it out of the garden themselves. Maybe not, but I can hope.
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Piglet Flu

Last weekend when we were at camp, Adlani felt hot to me but of course I had forgotten to bring the medical bag with us for our first weekend at camp. It was Sunday night at 8:45 and Sturbridge was just rolling up the sidewalks (Holland rolls theirs up much earlier and the only game in town is Holland Market which is mostly good for beer and subs). I couldn’t get to Stop & Shop before they closed at 9, and Cumberland Farms (“We never close!”) doesn’t carry Children’s Tylenol or Motrin. I finally found a QuikMart that was open 24 hours (“But we’re only selling beer until 11…” – good to know), so I figured we’d make the 3 a.m. trek if we needed to. He was asleep and didn’t seem uncomfortable.

When we got home the next day his temp was about 102.5. He was a little tired and his nose was running, and because of the fever and body aches I assumed he had the flu. By the next morning he was 90% recovered so I asked the pediatrician’s office if we could come in for a flu test, to see if he had to stay out of school for a week – the current rule. They said to come right in, but when the doctor finally came in he said that it didn’t matter whether he tested positive for the flu because he had to stay out of school for a week regardless.

FEVER+1 OTHER SYMPTOM=7 DAYS AT HOME

Ok…not a big deal. He’s the easiest kid to have at home, believe it or not. Later that day I got the call from Aliya’s school nurse. Aliya had a scratchy throat and needed to go home. When I arrived at school the nurse told me that we were on Day Zero and she could come back on Day Seven. I literally went home and cried. The more I thought about it, and the more I listened to my 2 healthy kids fight over who had the most Kix in their bowl and which TV show to watch, the more I wondered why Aliya was banished for a week. She was missing a vital component of the formula – the fever.

I emailed the school nurse to check, and she referred me to the Board of Health. The nurse from the Board of Health left me a message that no fever means no banishment, and she also called the school nurse to let her know. Meanwhile, Adlani’s school nurse found out that Aliya was home for a week without a fever and called to tell me that she didn’t need to be. So she’s going back Monday and I’m wondering who’s going to compensate me for 4 days of pain and suffering.
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