I think I need to go back on bus duty so the bus driver doesn’t have a chance to chat with Ben. It’s not that I hide things from Ben [all the time], but I think I have a better way of phrasing things so he doesn’t overreact.
Today’s bus report was actually about Aliya. Shocking, but true. The bus driver told Ben that there was some discussion about a belly button between Aliya and a very nice 5th grade boy, I’ll call him “Fabio.” I’m not sure how the belly button conversation began, but Aliya said that Fabio had a big belly button and someone asked how she knew and she said that she had touched it.
First of all, belly buttons are technically not in the much-discussed *private area.* Second, Aliya demonstrated how she had poked Fabio in the belly, with his shirt down and covering said belly button. Third, Fabio is a REALLY NICE BOY. He’s a 5th Grade Helper, for crying out loud. The last time I saw him at his bus stop around the corner, he was wearing a flourescent orange bus patrol sash!
So the bus driver told Ben that she was going to have to tell Fabio’s parents about the incident. Ben has now instructed Aliya that she’s not to sit with any boys, play with any boys at recess, look at any boys, and especially not to touch any boys’ belly buttons. Am I crazy or is this ridiculous?!? I mean, just because she gave Fabio a Pillsbury Dough Boy poke in the belly, does that mean that she’ll be forever on a quest for the most poke-able belly button, unable to resist the urge to poke?
Or maybe she’ll become obsessed with her own belly button, and incorporate it into body art, and then wear revealing clothing to show it off. COME ON PEOPLE! IT’S A BELLY BUTTON! Since when did poking one become a reportable offense?? Is this going on her permanent record??
